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A drunk ex-soldier arrested for dangerous driving urinated in the street and bit a police officer's thumb after arrogantly proclaiming: "I pay my taxes.”
Ashmit Limbu, who served in the British Army and toured Iraq, reacted abusively and aggressively when his VW Golf was traced to his home having been captured on CCTV weaving "all over the place" through Ashford town centre.
The footage, coupled with the view of a tailing motorist, revealed how he had crashed into a bollard, reversed into a tree, struck a traffic island, lost a hubcap, and repeatedly mounted kerbs, pavements and a grass verge.
The then 29-year-old, who had spent the evening at a restaurant and bar, also jumped a red light, narrowly avoided hitting a shopfront and collided with two parked cars.
Fortunately, the streets were relatively free of traffic and pedestrians as he drove at what was said to be a "relatively" low speed in the early hours of Saturday, February 18.
His car was moving so slowly that it was described as "bearing all the hallmarks" of someone trying to drive carefully knowing they were intoxicated - and failing.
Canterbury Crown Court heard that not only were police greeted by him staggering around but he repeatedly refused to give a urine sample for an alcohol reading to be ascertained.
Described by the judge as an "unseasoned drinker", Limbu was also said to have had no recollection of the later stages of his "shameful" night out with colleagues.
Furthermore, his vehicle was a write-off and he lost his job - said to be with a government organisation - as a result of coverage on KentOnline when he appeared in court to admit dangerous driving, failing to provide a specimen, threatening behaviour and assault of an emergency worker.
At that hearing in April, magistrates were told Limbu was "barely able to walk" when he left the bar, and a passer-by was so shocked to see him start to drive that she and her partner decided to follow in their car while alerting police.
CCTV operators were also able to track some of his route until he drove out of range and headed home just under two miles away.
But at his crown court sentencing hearing on Monday, prosecutor John Connor conceded that although the recording was "not particularly exciting and probably one of the slowest we have ever seen", the driving itself was "persistent, prolonged and heavily impaired" by alcohol.
"As a former soldier who has been in a position of authority dealing with the public, he knows that behaviour is utterly shameful...”
It was while police were trying to arrest Limbu outside his home in Beecholme Drive, Kennington, that he urinated while proclaiming "I don't give a f*** – I pay my taxes" before becoming agitated and biting the officer.
The court heard he was then taken to hospital after complaining about his asthma but continued to be abusive and refused to give a urine sample despite numerous requests.
Phil Rowley, defending Limbu, said the former soldier's behaviour was "completely out of character as a consequence of inappropriate alcohol consumption".
"On that evening he goes out with work colleagues and he is not a drinker at all. He drank in a restaurant and subsequently in a bar," he told the court.
"He has no recollection of events at the bar until he sobered up and accepts entirely what has been said.
"He is deeply remorseful and utterly ashamed of his behaviour - firstly the driving, as it was dangerous to other road users and to himself, and he is crestfallen in relation to the incident with the police officer.
"As a former soldier who has been in a position of authority dealing with the public, he knows that behaviour is utterly shameful.”
Mr Rowley added it was "more by accident than design" that the streets were quiet and on the issue of Limbu's slow speed, he said: "It has all the hallmarks of someone who is aware they are intoxicated and is therefore driving very slowly.
"It's a drunken man trying to be careful but failing to take proper regard of their intoxication."
The court heard that LImbu, now 30, had not touched alcohol since, and had also managed to find work with a manufacturing company within walking distance of his home.
The injured officer was also said to have suffered nothing more than a scratch.
Imposing a 10-month jail term suspended for two years and a two-year driving ban, Recorder Edmund Fowler told the married defendant the CCTV footage showed him to be "clearly all over the place".
"It really is astonishing just how out of control you were in what I accept was a relatively low speed," the judge remarked. "It was a long piece of very poor driving."
However, in concluding he could spare Limbu immediate custody by reason of his guilty plea, lack of previous convictions, genuine remorse and a realistic prospect of rehabilitation, Recorder Fowler added: "This does seem to me to be an aberration borne out of poor decision making when drunk, you not being a seasoned drinker."
As part of his sentence, he must complete 200 hours of unpaid work and pay court costs of £340 within three months.