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Graham Garrett is not one to mince his words.
The chef and patron at The West House in Biddenden, near Ashford, had a Michelin star for 16 years - then suddenly it was gone.
He was annoyed at the time that no one called him up to let him know - but he is not so bothered now.
“I'm trying to be polite about it, but it's like who actually gives a f***? It's a guidebook from a tyre company.”
The 63-year-old is one of the county’s biggest culinary characters, having appeared on TV on the Great British Menu and James Martin’s popular Saturday morning cooking shows.
He recently sat down with KentOnline at his popular restaurant, giving his views on everything from chasing accolades to the impact of Labour’s Budget on the hospitality industry (spoiler: he’s unimpressed, to say the least).
But how did the former drummer for 80s bands such as Ya Ya and Dumb Blondes end up serving up fancy dishes in a quaint Kent village?
It was not until the age of 31 that he swapped sweaty arenas for the heat of some of London’s top kitchens, working with legendary chefs such as Nico Ladenis - the first self-taught chef to ever gain three Michelin stars.
During this period, Mr Garrett even cooked for Queen Elizabeth II and 10 Downing Street.
But in 2002, he felt it was time for him, his wife Jackie, son Jake and daughter Jess to escape to the countryside.
He said: “I got fed up with all that London madness - you know the crazy chefs and all that - and I came out to the country for a nice, peaceful life.
“I’d just had enough. The travelling across London, you know, when you finish work at a ridiculous time of night.
“I was sleeping on the restaurant floor, not seeing my kids.
“It was pretty grim for a long time and I just wanted to get out.
It was then that a property agent suggested he come down to Kent to look at a few potential locations.
“I was looking for a pub at the time,” he said, “I didn't even want a restaurant.
“Then just before we went home, we came in here.
“The oldest estate agent's ploy - he said, ‘I've just got to pop in this place and sign some papers’.
“I walked in and there was something about it that got me straight away.
“I didn't realise where I was going or what I was doing. But it's such a great place.
“A beautiful part of the world.”
Mr Garrett’s plan was to “have a little restaurant where every day I could go to the farmers market, buy great ingredients and just cook what I wanted”.
“That's what I did, and straight away we got a star,” he said.
“It raised awareness, so suddenly we were busy.
“But being busy also has a downside. With all these lovely people coming in and eating, you also suddenly got every a***hole in the world coming in.
“Some guy came in and dumped his keys on the table and said, ‘Someone park my car’.
“You can imagine my reaction to most of that.”
In the early days, the only way to find out if he had kept his star was to buy each year’s Michelin Guide and flick through.
But by 2019, glitzy annual ceremonies were held to celebrate those hitting the heights - and that year, Mr Garrett did not get an invitation.
“I had people from a couple of starred restaurants in Kent also ringing up saying, ‘Have you had an invite?’ because they never had one either,” he said.
“It wasn't fair on those people to not get an invite and to keep worrying.
“It's like this power game. I'm trying to be polite about it, but it's like who actually gives a f***?
“It's a guidebook from a tyre company.
“Okay, it's become a big deal with chefs but when you start playing with people like that, it's a bit strange.
“I lost quite a lot of respect for them. I've never seen them since and never really think about them, which is the best way, really.”
The chef would have preferred if someone had told him directly, but recognises “that’s their policy”.
After losing the star, Covid lockdowns hit months later and Mr Garrett admits it was a “pretty depressing time”.
He has his suspicions as to why Michelin snubbed him.
“We started building rooms out the back, so you could say it changed from being the little husband-and-wife restaurant in the country to a restaurant with rooms,” he says.
“The thing that really changed was I took a step back from the stoves to help build the rooms.
“I had a head chef and brigade. I would openly say that standards probably slipped a little bit because, well, customers went down.
“When I went back in the kitchen, the customers came back too.”
And it’s those booking tables to try dishes - such as roast middle white loin with Roscoff onion, bacon jam rarebit and sage, and baked fig frangipane with raspberry sorbet - that Mr Garrett is prioritising.
“I think a lot of chefs are guilty of cooking for guidebooks - for accolades, shall we say - rather than cooking for customers.
“Some chefs want to show off or show how clever they are and be innovative.
“That's all great - but initially, you need to be doing things that keep people coming in.
“You can be as clever in the kitchen as you want but if you haven’t got any customers, you're cooking for yourself.
“Without them you don’t have a business. Without that you can’t be creative and do what you want in the kitchen.”
A full, five-course dinner at The West House costs £100 per person, or £75 for four courses. A wine pairing is an extra £55 or £40 each.
Some might assume that with enough customers paying full whack, the restaurant would be immune to changes announced in Labour’s Budget last month.
But Mr Garrett thinks it will “f*** up restaurants big time”.
The National Living Wage will increase by 6.7% to £12.21 for people aged 21 and over, and to £10 for 18- to 20-year-olds - while the rate of employers’ national insurance is rising from 13.8% to 15%.
Business rates relief for hospitality, retail, and leisure businesses will also drop from 75% to 40% from April.
Mr Garrett said: “I've got a shop, I've got a patisserie and then the restaurant and the rooms.
“My rates bill just doubled overnight.”
When he’s not visiting his local pub The Three Chimneys, Mr Garrett’s favourite Kent venues are The Sportsman, near Whitstable, and The Fordwich Arms, near Canterbury - both of which have Michelin stars.
The other two restaurants with the accolade are The Bridge Arms, in Bridge, near Canterbury, and Hide and Fox in Saltwood, near Hythe.
This means all of Kent’s current Michelin-starred venues are in the east of the county.
Stephen Harris, head chef at The Sportsman, previously said he did not celebrate or “take his star for granted”.
Meanwhile, Dan Smith, head chef at The Fordwich Arms, described it as “amazing”.
Elsewhere, the new owners of The Duck in Pett Bottom, near Canterbury, which was previously in the Michelin Guide, told KentOnline they would be cooking for customers, rather than critics.
Chef Kyle Hadley-Quinn told KentOnline: “If it comes, it comes, but I'd much rather just have a full restaurant and everyone be happy.”
Over the past 22 years, Mr Garrett says Kent’s foodie scene has hugely improved - even if it might not yet challenge the bright lights of the capital.
“There are more and more people coming, which is great,” he said.
“I think it's still got a little way to go, but it's certainly better than it ever was.
“You don't want it too overcrowded though.
“There's just about enough business to go around at the moment.”