Friday, May 1

Kirstyn says...

Well, sailing the kmfm breakfast ship alone and to be honest, I think I shaped up rather well! Webbo taken day off to enjoy a long weekend so here I am! Felt bit lost when my usual ready-made cup of coffee was not at my desk upon (early) arrival. Producer Bob offered a little comfort but he also stunk the office out with his over-the-top air freshener use, what is it with men and toilets? They really have no idea.

Fortunately I had lots of calls, emails and texts to keep me busy so I ploughed through them all, making sure all birthdays, anniversaries and events were covered. This weekend being a bank holiday means there’s lots of events on so I collated those and read them out after 9. I also heard from the Headcorn Morris Men who were up with the lark celebrating May 1st and its fertile qualities! They informed me they’ll be dancing across the borough and ending up (like most good men) in the Queens Head pub in Kingsnorth! Webbo would approve!

This weekend it’s a Vinyl Years special so Johnny Lewis has been scraping out his box so we have enough to last us all weekend. Thought it’ll be good, it won’t come close to my 80’s and 90’s weekend - feedback appreciated!

I came across a story about a dog that was abandoned at a field in Lympne. Fortunately for every dirtbag out there, there’s an angel so the dog was taken in but now needs a good home - it’s so cute!

Nearly burst into tears during last hour of show when I had to mention an event at the International Hotel which is raising money for the Help for Heroes charity. Talked about the amazing job the servicemen and women do for our country and how the charity helps them out. Played X Factor finalists singing Hero and became overwhelmed with emotion - you know me!

Back tonight from 7 and then on daytimes on Monday so catch you then!

Kirst x

Thursday, April 30

Our opening link of the show is always a tad random as we settle in for the morning. Today’s consisted of Justin Timberlake (we’d just played his record) loving golf, us trying to convince our listeners to drag a few new converts over to listen to us and crown bowling.

Kirst has come in dressed for rain, she’s such a pessimist but as it turns out, was correct as Jason rings to let us know that it’s drizzling in Kingsnorth.

I manage to give my mega-phone an airing, as it’s requested. It seems to rile some of you so we only use it when asked for now.

Kirst calls the after dinner course of tea-time pudding whereas I’ve always gone for “afters” because it doesn’t imply that it’s going to be anything special and “afters” could just be fruit.

It turns out that my cockney dulcet tones are quite a turn on for some, except it would seem Kirst, who finds them a bit common.

The dancing bears are outside our studio window on the ring-road and they’ve also come “bearing gifts” (see what I’ve done there) in the shape of two mugs with our names on and a picture of the bears. Aaaahh.

I’ve perfected my robot dance and pull the rope technique, it’s great, but doesn’t really work on radio.

We review our wonderful Kentish Express, it’s a great edition, especially the centre spread of the kmfm charity match.

Eileen from the Ashford South Active Retirement Association warms our hearts by sending in a donation for the charity match. What a shining star she is.

Wednesday, April 29

Kirstyn is full of apologies as her nickname The Tailor (she cuts it fine in the mornings) kicks in, unfortunately, today, she over-cuts it.

She then informs us, in great detail, of her morning’s preparations before leaving the house. Basically, wash face, clean teeth, get dressed, wake her son and off she jolly well goes. She doesn’t mess around with all that make-up and washing hair malarkey.

It turns out that the leftover St George's flags from last week have become a Health and Safety hazard in the reception area. So it’s either get out on the ring road and get rid, or face a hefty fine and a telling off. I decide to go for the former and avoid the wrath of the reception girls who are a bit scary.

It’s a big weekend for the Ashford Town bowls club as they celebrate their centenary year. The mayor will have the first wood.

Kirstyn allows me to discuss football for approximately 34 seconds and that’s now a record.

It’s time for Kirstyn to have a “get on her high horse” moment. Today’s recipient of her tongue lashing is Rose Gibb. I didn’t really get the gist, but went along with it, but our listeners tended to agree.

I make the most horrendous football faux pas by suggesting that Kirst’s wannabe boyfriend Ronaldhino plays for Barcelona, where as everyone realises it’s actually AC Milan, what an idiot (me that is).

We decide that Jacko (Michael Jackson to those of you who don’t know him as well as us) has no need to blame it on the “good times” instead of the “sunshine” or indeed the “moonlight”

Whilst adding to Kirstyn’s photo-fit of her perfect man, we now realise that he can’t be any younger than 29 and that she’s a bit “shortist”

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Tuesday, April 28

Webbo says...

A bizarre start to the day. Kylie is the first record and Kirst dreamt of the little pop princess dancing around her house in her little hot-pants last night, which is a bit weird in itself, but I had an almost identical one, with a couple of details missing. I’ll leave it to your imagination as to exactly what details.

We discuss our suppers from last night and again we seem to be in tandem. Kirst had a salmon salad at a certain pizza establishment, whilst I had some pink salmon out of a tin, in my sarnie. Somehow and don’t ask me how, this leads on to Kirst talking about Britain’s Got Talent and the new star of the show DJ Talent.

She then decides to test my Achilles Heel by telling me that the Fine Young Cannibals' cover version of Elvis’ Suspicious Minds is far superior to the original. The girl is deluded.

We re-visit our 18th birthday celebrations. I remember mine being spent in the Ben Truman on Stanhope until being thrown out for looking too young. Kirst can’t actually remember hers, so we try to regress her and unravel the mystery.

We love “Morris Men” and we don’t care who knows it. I even have a badge to prove it.

We have devised a photo-fit of Kirst’s ideal man and it’s something like a cross between Marco-Pierre White and Ronaldhino.

Kirst believes she has a sister somewhere and it would appear that girls retain friends better than boys and discuss more stuff than us. We’ll carry on letting them believe that, shall we?

I’m going on an 18 mile bike ride and visiting many public houses on route, what a laugh. We will be raising money on the Heather Wynter’s Cycle of Life. You can sponsor me if you wouldn’t mind, just pop in to reception, it’s for bowel cancer awareness.

I have to publicly apologise for being nasty to Kirstyn.

The Julie Rose Stadium is alive and kicking and normal service has been resumed. So let’s use it so we don’t lose it.

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Starting this week, kmfm for Ashford breakfast presenters Kirstyn and Webbo give you a peep into their world in their blog.

To, er, kick it off Webbo talks about yesterday's kmfm Charity Challenge match at Homelands, the old pond at Newtown and much, much more...

Monday, April 27

I just about manage to drag myself out of bed after a long and tiring weekend which took in M.C.’ing Ashford Boxing Club’s “fight night”, my daughter Maisy’s netball tournament, my son Charlie’s District football match, a visit to West Ham v Chelsea and the kmfm charity challenge football match which I managed to play for 70 minutes. So as you can imagine, I’m a tad tuckered out.

Kirstyn arrived very chipper after a productive and enjoyable weekend and it would also appear that her “Peanut butter, half an Easter egg and a packet of Wotsits” diet is paying off, it’s falling off of her.

We decide that “malarkey” is a very funny word indeed.

Kirstyn has an irrational hatred of Amanda Holden.

We embark on a stroll down memory lane and I talk about my Dusty’s days and Kirstyn reminisces about her Cales tales.

More nostalgia as June from Willesborough sparks off a debate about the old pond in Newtown, just by the old level crossing, which was used by the old boys club. Poor June thought she’d gone mad because nobody she spoke to remembered it. But 10 listeners reassured her that she is completely sane

Plenty of feedback from you all about you’re enjoyment of the boxing on Friday and the football on Sunday and thank you for your support.

More reminiscing as we discuss the “cassette”. We both have about two million of them each and both of us don’t want to throw them away, but not to sure what to do with them, until of course Barry rings us to tell us that there is a contraption that converts cassettes to CD What a laugh, I’m off to get one now, while Kirst is off to help her mate practice putting on her make up for her wedding. Honestly, you girls.