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‘Drivers are going nowhere fast on smart motorways that are anything but’

28 February 2024
‘Drivers are going nowhere fast on smart motorways that are anything but’

A lack of road infrastructure, the ‘ludicrous’ design of smart motorways and excessive speed restrictions are driving Secret Thinker round the bend.

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‘We all have superstitions, but it’s cause for concern when rituals start ruling your life’

21 February 2024
‘We all have superstitions, but it’s cause for concern when rituals start ruling your life’

From knocking on wood to throwing salt over your shoulder, Secret Thinker considers the quirks most of us have – and when they can become a worry.

1

‘There are bound to be disturbing scenes in any Shakespeare play’

14 February 2024
‘There are bound to be disturbing scenes in any Shakespeare play’

Warnings about disturbing scenes or subjects in plays or on TV is treating us like kids and should be banned, says Secret Thinker.

5

‘Any sympathy I felt for train drivers evaporated long ago – get back to work’

07 February 2024
‘Any sympathy I felt for train drivers evaporated long ago – get back to work’

With passengers subjected to seemingly endless disruption due to train driver strikes, Secret Thinker questions the validity of their gripes.

76

‘Stop pouring cold water on vaping ban – protecting children’s health is right thing to do’

31 January 2024
‘Stop pouring cold water on vaping ban – protecting children’s health is right thing to do’

No sooner had the ban on disposable vapes been announced than the naysayers came out in force – but Secret Thinker says it can only be a good thing.

13

'Call me a sad muppet but a trip to B&Q excites me - DIY is so satisfying'

24 January 2024
'Call me a sad muppet but a trip to B&Q excites me - DIY is so satisfying'

Is there a task more satisfying than chopping wood with an axe? Here, Secret Thinker describes his love of DIY and playing with ‘boys’ toys’.

20

‘Getting our knickers in a twist every time the temperature drops is crazy’

17 January 2024
‘Getting our knickers in a twist every time the temperature drops is crazy’

As the temperature drops, Secret Thinker says the constant barrage of “absurd” weather warnings is counterproductive and “pointless in the extreme”.

26

‘Guessing the next celebrity death – grisly and macabre or a bit of fun?’

10 January 2024
‘Guessing the next celebrity death – grisly and macabre or a bit of fun?’

Who will be the next celebrity to pop their clogs? Secret Thinker felt compelled to make his own predictions on a visit to a pub with a ‘death list’.

13

‘Make it your 2024 resolution to use them – or we’ll lose them’

01 January 2024
‘Make it your 2024 resolution to use them – or we’ll lose them’

Even though Secret Thinker was rudely awoken by clanging bells, he says that we need to make sure we use churches – and pubs – or we’ll lose them.

27

‘It’s sad when things we hold dear become obsolete, but Royal Mail’s days are numbered’

20 December 2023
‘It’s sad when things we hold dear become obsolete, but Royal Mail’s days are numbered’

As service declines and technology takes over, Secret Thinker says it’s only a matter of time before Royal Mail goes the same way as red phone boxes.

42

'Holding climate talks in Dubai is like vegans meeting in an abattoir'

13 December 2023
'Holding climate talks in Dubai is like vegans meeting in an abattoir'

As COP28 in the UAE draws to a close, Secret Thinker expresses his lack of surprise at how much the climate talks have achieved – namely, very little.

13

‘Mark my words – I was right about Boris, and now predict Farage will one day be PM’

06 December 2023
‘Mark my words – I was right about Boris, and now predict Farage will one day be PM’

Secret Thinker was ridiculed when he predicted in 2005 that Boris Johnson would one day become PM - and now he has a similar hunch about Nigel Farage.

98

‘There’s nothing wrong with having faith – but no one should foist their beliefs on others’

29 November 2023
‘There’s nothing wrong with having faith – but no one should foist their beliefs on others’

With religion being used as an excuse for war and atrocities, Secret Thinker explains why he’s happy to remain a non-believer.

46

‘A minister for common sense? What next, a minister for funny walks?’

22 November 2023
‘A minister for common sense? What next, a minister for funny walks?’

Appointing a government minister to combat ‘wokeness’ is ludicrous, says Secret Thinker, who argues the whole cabinet should be using common sense.

31

‘Stop dragging out the smoking ban – naysayers will comply eventually’

15 November 2023
‘Stop dragging out the smoking ban – naysayers will comply eventually’

Should the Government be able to dictate how we live our lives? Yes, says Secret Thinker, as he urges the PM to fast-track plans to outlaw smoking.

41

‘Bristol’s common-sense approach to clean air zone fines puts London to shame’

08 November 2023
‘Bristol’s common-sense approach to clean air zone fines puts London to shame’

After receiving a fine for unknowingly driving through a clean air zone, Secret Thinker considers how different cities approach enforcement.

40

‘We used to get treated with a loyalty card – now it’s all about the profit’

25 October 2023
‘We used to get treated with a loyalty card – now it’s all about the profit’

Secret Thinker remembers when loyalty cards could win you a holiday, but claims they are now just a sales tactic.

13

‘I get nostalgia, but phone books should be consigned to history with DVDs and roadmaps’

18 October 2023
‘I get nostalgia, but phone books should be consigned to history with DVDs and roadmaps’

Is there anything more redundant than a phone book nowadays? After receiving one this week, Secret Thinker ponders items we can consign to history.

27

‘Beauty trends come and go, but are enormous trout-pout lips a craze too far?’

11 October 2023
‘Beauty trends come and go, but are enormous trout-pout lips a craze too far?’

From tattoos to tans, beauty standards are constantly changing – but Secret Thinker struggles to get his head around the latest trend for lip fillers.

25

‘We need to crack on and put Covid behind us – it’s not news any more’

04 October 2023
‘We need to crack on and put Covid behind us – it’s not news any more’

Covid is going to continue sweeping through populations like colds and flu, and it’s high time we just got on with it, says Secret Thinker.

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