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Cannibal chat trial nurse Dale Bolinger poses with the huge axe he allegedly planned to use to behead a teenage girl before eating her.
The Canterbury father-of-four bought the chopper with three foot handle from Homebase the day before he went to meet the 14 year-old.
He boasted about the weapon to the girl called "Eva" - whose true identity is still unknown - on a website called Dark Fetish Network.
Before sending her the selfie, Bolinger wrote in a chatlog: "I've got the cleaver and the experience. Really want to do it? I would want to have your body afterwards for food..."
He then said: "I'll show you my cleaver and chopping block if oyu want..(sic)"
"Eva" replies: "I hope it was bigger".
"It's big enough. And very sharp. How wide is your neck then...?" - defendant Dale Bolinger in chatlog talk about axe
Bolinger, aged 58, responded: "It's big enough. And very sharp. How wide is your neck then?"
The following day in September 2012 he went to Ashford International station - expecting to meet the girl - but she failed to turn up.
A jury heard his sick plan was uncovered by the FBI who found him chatting on the internet about rape, murder and cannibalism calling himself "meatmarketman".
His chatlogs also included boasts he had already eaten a 39 year-old black woman and a five year-old child.
The Crown said Bolinger talked about how much more tender the meat is from children and got sexual gratification from his fantasies about cannibalism.
But Bolinger told Canterbury Crown Court he had never murdered or eaten anyone and his online boasts were pure fantasy.
And when asked why he had bought the axe he told police: "There was a sale on."
Bolinger, formerly of Davidson Road, who was married for 34 years, told the jury his interest in cannibalism began as a child but developed after puberty.
The jury has heard he has already pleaded guilty to an offence of administering a poison or noxious substance "with intent to injure, aggrieve or annoy" on a woman in July 2, 2010.
He is now on trial accused of "attempting to meet a child following sexual grooming", which he denies.
Yesterday, Bolinger revealed how he targeted work colleague, Urlene King, four years ago.
He said he had known the fellow medical student for 15 to 17 years and they were "good friends".
"We had got some shopping and had returned to my house," he told the jury. "There was
no one else at home. My feelings for her was that I loved her. I was sexually attracted to her."
He said his marriage at the time "was crumbling completely" and he had felt "numb, hurt, confused, angry".
Bolinger told the jury he had bought dry cleaning fluid to try to take oil stains from a white coat.
"I went to wash my hands and she was wanted a glass of water," said Bolinger. "I had put the dry cleaning fluid on a cloth and put it on her face.
"But why I did it, I don't honestly know. I saw the cloth and something inside me said 'why not?' And the next thing I know I am putting it over her face.
"I held it there for only a few seconds before she threw herself to the side and said something like: 'Oh my god what are you doing?'
"And I suddenly realised what I was doing and I threw the cloth away. I thought: 'I'm sorry, I've just hurt my best friend'."
"I know what I did, but I don't know why I did it. It was like I was watching myself from above..." - ex-Canterbury nurse Dale Bolinger
Bolinger added: "I know what I did, but I don't know why I did it. It was like I was watching myself from above.
"Was this fantasy? No. Was it to kill her? No. Was it to rape her? No. So why I was doing it... I am not too sure."
Bolinger – who was arrested at a Thanet hospital – denied being sexually attracted to children and claimed he believed that the cannibalism talk with "Eva" was just part of his fantasy world.
He said he believed that "Eva" was a man... but then a member of the jury sent a note to the judge to ask if that was so why did he go to Ashford International to meet her.
Bolinger claimed that had a 14-year-old Mexican girl had turned up, he would have contacted social services and the police.
He was then asked why he had bought an axe the day before he was due to meet the train and claimed that it was because she had asked him to get an axe to decapitate her... and "because there was a sale on".
The trial is to resume tomorrow.
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