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Hope you had more luck than me when it came to dodging that awful storm this week.
It was breathtaking, one of the strongest I’ve seen, seemingly coming from nowhere, rushing in from all angles, unavoidably, and leaving a trail of confusion and dismay in its wake.
Nope, I’m not talking about the weatherbomb, I’m referring to the media storm over the retirement of a certain Thierry Henry.
First, no, you’re incorrect, he didn’t retire years ago, he’s actually been ‘playing’ in the US for the New York Red Bulls for the past four-and-a-half years.
However since Tuesday morning’s retirement announcement, social media, papers, TV, radio and the internet have been awash with highlights of Henry’s career, his goalscoring records, his trophy cabinet and his va-va-bloomin-voom.
What you may not have seen, heard, read or had rammed down your throat by Sky Sports - who have given him a multi-million pound punditry gig - is that the man dubbed by many as the greatest ever Premier League player was infact a flat-track bully par excellence who was always found lacking on the biggest stage of all.
Now, before you get all indignant, I will gladly admit the man possessed more talent than pretty much any player I have ever seen and played the game with a swagger that made him adored by Arsenal fans and begrudgingly respected by pretty much everyone else. He just largely wasted it.
I am not so one-eyed in my footballing allegiance that I can’t hold my hands up and say Henry was a special footballer, and we were fortunate to see the very best of him, week-in, week-out, in the Premier League, scoring goals for fun... against Middlesbrough, Leeds, Charlton and Aston Villa.
That’s not just a cheap punchline. Those four teams alone make up 49 of his Gunners goals.
Want some more stats? Henry started nine one-off Cup finals in his career, domestic and international combined, during which he spent 912 minutes on the field.
The only cup final goal he ever scored was for France against Cameroon in the 2003 Confederations Cup final. That’s not even a proper thing.
‘What about the World Cup,’ I hear you cry, ‘he scored six World Cup goals in four tournaments, that’s not too shabby’... well Henry indeed played 17 games at World Cup Finals and managed to net against Togo, South Korea, twice against Saudi Arabia and add a stoppage-time goal when France already led South Africa 2-0. His other goal, for the record, came against Brazil.
France lost the World Cup Final he played in, and won the one he watched from the bench as an unused sub.
Maybe that was karma.
Whether he was destabilising French coaches with mutinies, refusing to train, ‘simulating contact,’ running 90 yards to celebrate infront of Tottenham fans, telling refs how to do their job or juggling the ball in the Ireland six-yard box to get France to a World Cup, while his talent was never in question, Henry’s character often was.
Just as memorable as his amazing slalom runs and over-the-shoulder volleys was the botched penalty against Man City in 2005, when he stepped-up and tried to pass to Robert Pires. His breathtaking arrogance dictated that merely slotting home a penalty was beneath him.
Henry won the Premier League just twice in eight-and-a-bit stellar seasons. Lionel Messi won him his only Champions League medal while he collected a few Cups along the way too, thanks to genuine big-game match-winners like Freddie Ljungberg and Ray Parlour and Pires.
As supremely talented as he was, I have absolutely no doubt that Henry underachieved in his career.
Let’s hope for his sake the studio lights don’t shine as bright as those on the game's biggest stage, where his undeniable talent was too often left in the shadows.