We're not kidding. An escaped goat has been spotted in a residential road in Crayford this afternoon.

In a turn of events that is only missing the appearance of a troll – although the online version may soon follow – the animal was snapped near a bridge in Maiden Lane, grazing on roadside vegetation while perched on a wall.

The Met Police and RSPCA said they had not been notified of the escaped animal.

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