More on KentOnline
They were just some scribbled notes – jotted down in desperation by a young man trying to make sense of the anxiety that was taking hold of his life.
Little did Louis Findlay know his words would lead to the cure, and take him on a journey that would bring international acclaim for his acting and filmmaking talents.
The former Leigh City Technology College pupil is celebrating success after his short film, Days To Come, received awards from film websites Awardeo.tv and TheActorsAwards.com.
And he’s now hoping its message on mental health will help others who find themselves struggling with anxiety and depression.
The 26-year-old explained his struggles began when he was travelling to London to audition for acting classes.
“I remember being nervous,” he said. “I got the train one Sunday afternoon and remember feeling very shaky – I thought ‘am I ill?’ I needed the toilet and I felt like I was trapped.
“I just wanted to get off, there was no plan B. I wanted to get off but I knew if I got off the train I could lose my chance of being accepted for my school.
“I took a deep breath and thought ‘you’ve made it this far – once you get to Waterloo you just need to get to Camden and if you get there at least you’ve tried’. Luckily, I made it and got accepted.”
Still his problems didn’t disappear, and it was only when Louis started writing that he began to figure out what was wrong with him.
“I just wrote down how I was feeling and then later went back to my notes and decided I could make a film out of it,” he said.
“I’d always felt I was a confident person and when the doctors told me I had it [anxiety issues] I actually laughed.
“I literally couldn’t do anything for myself. It’s a very strange place to be – you feel like you’re not safe.
“We started making the film –that was part of the process.
“Part way through I said to my friends ‘this isn’t really me acting, this is me, it’s what I’ve been going through’.
“I’d always felt I was a confident person and when the doctors told me I had it [anxiety issues] I actually laughed," actor and filmmaker Louis Findlay
“They said ‘you shouldn’t suffer in silence’. That seemed to open up more doors; I had been keeping it a secret.
“I didn’t tell my girlfriend for the best part of five months. She was very upset when I told her.
“I found out the hard way – I didn’t have to make a film – I could’ve just spoken to someone and I might have felt better sooner rather than later.”
Nevertheless, he’s glad he did make the film, which echoes the events of his life and aims to encourage young men in particular in a similar situation to seek help and talk about their feelings.
He now hopes the film will be taken on board by mental health charities – but even if it isn’t, it’s already turned Louis’s life around.
Watch the trailer for Days to Come here.