A widower is locked in a battle with his local church in a row over the headstone he has chosen for his wife's grave.

Dave Clark wants a pink-tinted marble headstone to mark his wife’s final resting place in the graveyard at St Mary’s Church, in Small Grains, Fawkham.

Janet Clark died from dementia last February and her husband, who cared for her at home for the seven years before her death, has been tending her grave weekly.

Mr Clark said: “When my sons and I saw it we all said it was the right one. It matched Janet's vibrancy. It was the colours she would wear.

“It was everything about her. It was just her personality”.

But after Mr Clark, of Valley Road, Fawkham, had the headstone designed and submitted to the diocese he was told it did not fit with the "setting of the churchyard".

The 70-year-old said: “It’s so unfair. There are numerous other graves on the site which are not in keeping with the churchyard regulations. Why is this application so different?

“It complies with all the regulations except the colour.”

The devoted husband claims plenty of other churches run by the same diocese have headstones in that colour or other colours.

"I don't want an Only Fools and Horses memorial with yellow paint. I want something that reflects my wife's life," he said.

In the decision letter sent to Mr Clark from the Parochial Church Council of Fawkham and Hartley, it says: "The proposed memorial does not fit with the setting of the churchyard. The colour of the chosen stone is not in keeping with the majority of headstones currently in the churchyard. "Natural weathered stone would be in keeping and therefore acceptable."

The father-of-four appealed the decision and a notice was put up at the church for 28 days asking for objections. None were received.

Mr Clark set up his own petition and has had 200 signatures from people supporting his design.

A spokesperson for the Diocese of Rochester explained there are a set of diocesan regulations which each church is legally obliged to follow and there is no automatic right to a churchyard memorial.

Memorials have to be approved by the vicar and the parochial church council before they are installed.

The spokesman added: “It is understandably very upsetting if someone chooses a headstone for a loved one, only to find it is not permitted within the regulations.

“This is of course very regrettable and is why churches seek to make people aware of the regulations at the time they are considering a churchyard burial, liaise with funeral directors and stone masons so they can help advise people on their memorials, as well as offering the Faculty process as an avenue to resolve issues when they occur in as sensitive and as a pastoral way as possible.

“With regards to this particular case in question, the faculty process is still underway and no decision has yet been made.”

She added: ““If someone wishes to have a memorial that does not comply with the Regulations, they are able to apply to the Chancellor – or Judge - of the Diocese for a permission. This is known as a faculty. The Chancellor will then consider the application and decide whether the memorial will be allowed or not.”

Mr Clark is also frustrated with the maintenance of the site. He's started cutting back the grass around other graves including that of an 18-year-old soldier who died in the war and a three-day-old baby.

He said: “The churchyard last year was a total mess and there was no consideration or respect that our lost loved ones deserve.

“I bought my own battery strimmer, tree cutter and my sit-on mower. I even bought a little van just to transport everything.

“I am down there all the time and completely cleared it last year, but it has all just grown back.

“If you’ve got a grave in the middle which is buried in grass are you going to try to get to it?” he said.

“It’s not right. These are people who should be respected.”

The Diocese spokesman said: “The churchyard was left to grow in May as part of No Mow May. The church is now in the process of gathering assistance to help return it to its previous maintained condition.”