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Dartford manager Alan Dowson has conceded he didn’t realise just how much his side were going to miss Tom Bonner.
The inspirational centre-back retired in the summer and the Darts boss believes they’ve missed his influence on and off the pitch.
Speaking after losing at home to National League South bottom side Slough on Tuesday night, Dowson said: “I didn’t realise how big Bonner was going to be a miss, a leader of men, it’s been a massive thing in the club and more than I thought it would be.
“I knew he had a big influence in the changing room and (now) I realise how big it was because we haven’t got anyone like him, the same as Connor Essam in a certain way.
“When I lost my players in the summer, I thought we’d be alright.
“I could die for a Tom Bonner. If I could sign him or get him out there just to play a couple of games and show what it’s like to play for Dartford, that’s what I need.
“People should care about playing for Dartford, like I care being the manager. I keep bringing Bonner up but I haven’t got him so it’s tough luck on me.
“Bonner died for the club, he cared for the club, it was his passion, his life, everything. At the minute apart from young Sam (Odaudu) we haven’t got anybody in the team who has that feeling that he’s got.
“Players care in non-league football but he’s a special bloke. I just think he carried the team in the last couple of years to be honest and I found that out quite early doors.
“Bonner wouldn’t accept that in the changing room, everybody else accepts it so that’s where we are.”
Dowson was left deflated by his team’s performance against Slough.
The visitors showed more desire than Dartford, and the manager felt they went away from the gameplan and ended up looking like a team of individuals.
“I’m devastated,” stated Dowson. “I signed the players, I’ve signed every single one of them in that room. I told them to go and play, don’t go long at all, pass the ball and move it.
“We became individuals. In the second half we had my left winger, right winger and left midfielder all running in one space – no shape at all about them, doing what they want to do.
“I’m not digging anyone out bar myself, I blame myself. I signed them and I kept the ones from last season I kept.
“It’s only eight games in. I wanted them to pass it but they became individuals. People look quite good on the ball but did we really make their goalkeeper work? It was a goalkeeping mistake we scored from.
“The goals we’ve conceded, we’ve got three lads who are 6ft4in and I don’t know what I can do about that. I’ve got my right-back giving it away for toffee.
“It’s up to me to change things around and I will do. I’m not going to rant and rave like I’ve done in the past or throw people under the bus. I’ll throw myself under the bus because I signed every player in there.
“I’ll be getting a bit of stick. It started in pre-season then it came to the start of the season and we’re shipping goals for fun and not scoring. A lot of things I probably got wrong.
“If you get it wrong as a manager then I can’t really blame them as I signed them, I set us up and say that’s the way I want to play. Players are letting us down and I’m letting the club down. I don’t think we’ve given everything.
“I said we’ve got to play football a lot more as we’ve been going to the front too early, they took it literally and went backwards and backwards, one or two players think they’ve done alright tonight but it’s up to me.
“Do I think it’s right? Not at all. Do I think I’ve got the right personnel? Not at all. If you make mistakes, you’ve got to rectify them so I’ve got to rectify them very quickly because there’s a lot of things wrong.”
When asked how much Dartford will scrutinise the performance against Slough, Dowson replied: “You best not because it’s pointless.
“If you’ve been battered and undone by a Slough side who are bottom of the league, and taken to the cleaners by desire and work-rate then you’ve got problems.
“We looked quite good going backwards and square and some players but they’re not going anywhere, we’re not making their keeper work. Did their keeper have a save to make? I can’t think of a chance.
“I’ve had an awful day at the office and I’m best off keeping the players away from the criticism as it’s on my head, I’ve signed every single one of them.”