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The man accused of attempting to murder his girlfriend broke down as he told of the moments before he “flipped” and put his hands around her throat.
Alan Brough had suspected live-in partner Teresa O’Brien-Morrish of cheating on him – and had installed a spy camera and used a private eye to follow her.
He told a jury how the couple were in the house at Halliday Drive, Walmer when Ms Morrish went into her bedroom.
Brough, 63, followed her and was asked what happened next but faltered, replying: “ I went into the bedroom and er... I...I... I said to her: ‘It’s not right what you are doing to me.’
“She said: ‘It’s all in your mind’ and I just had her around the throat.”
Holding back the tears, he later told the jury that his girlfriend had poked a finger at his face before he “just flipped and went for her and assaulted her”.
“I just remember going for her, I got her around the throat and I don’t remember a lot after that. I just realised what I had done and stopped. I don’t think it was long (before I stopped) and I don’t think I was squeezing her hard.
“She was unconscious. I just think everything got on top of me. I had no intention of killing her... or hurting her."
Canterbury Crown Court heard that Ms Morrish ended up on top of her bed. Brough explained: “Probably as I went for her (she fell backwards) because it all happened so quick”.
Brough, who has denied attempted murder, later called the police and told officers he had strangled her.
“I told someone that they needed to get someone here and that I needed to be arrested. I knew that I had hurt Tess."
He told the jury he was under stress at work and had convinced himself his girlfriend was having an affair with the partner of a friend.
"She was unconscious. I just think everything got on top of me. I had no intention of killing her... or hurting her" - Brough
On a holiday to Malta, he said he thought "Tess" was on her phone "an awful lot" which had left him suspicious.
He added: “I raised my concerns but she never accepted being unfaithful. I just wanted reassurance that we were heading in the right direction.
“I wanted to believe her... I really wanted to believe her.”
But during one argument he shouted at her: “Get the **** out of my house!”
On the day of the incident, he decided to visit his daughter in nearby Chilham.
“I wasn’t coping well and I stopped for a couple of pints at the Freed Man in Deal," he explained.
“I left an hour later and went to my daughter’s home but she was out. I drove back and stopped at the Berry Pub, arriving at about 9.45 pm and had another pint.”
He then returned to the house shortly before the incident which ended in Ms Morrish being taken to the William Harvey Hospital where she remained sedated for 48 hours.
The victim also suffered damage to her voicebox after being hit possibly by a fist, it was claimed - although she had no memory of any part of the attack.
Prosecutor Eloise Marshall told the jury that Brough’s “paranoid” suspicions about his victim cheating on him had been unfounded.
The trial continues.