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Wife of missing diver Ben Moss from Faversham describes fight to have him declared dead after disappearance off Walmer

By: Lauren Abbott labbott@thekmgroup.co.uk

Published: 12:19, 01 February 2019

Updated: 12:21, 01 February 2019

A mother, whose husband went missing off the Kent coast in a diving incident almost a year ago, has described the anguish of fighting to have him declared dead and the struggle of coping with his loss.

Rosie Moss was left raising three small children alone after her husband Ben went scuba diving on March 12 last year between Walmer and St Margaret’s-at-Cliffe and never resurfaced.

At the time of his disappearance the couple's sons Monty and Hector were seven and five and baby daughter Tabitha just six-months-old. The couple had been married for 10 years.

Rosie pictured with children Monty, Hector and Tabitha is running for Holding On Letting Go

The tragic incident was made all the more complicated because the devoted father, who was self employed, is classed as a missing person.

This left Rosie trying to rapidly negotiate an extremely complicated financial future.

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She is trying to keep Ben's specialist flooring company afloat while attempting to deal with the monumental sense of loss she and her children are experiencing.

Rosie is in the process of going through the High Court to obtain a 'presumption of death' certificate for her husband.

The separate deaths of two other divers linked to the same boat company Ben dived with on the day he went missing are also scheduled for pre-inquest hearings in March.

Read more!

With the pressure on her growing, mother-of-three Rosie from Faversham said she was rescued at her "lowest, most desperate point" by Kent bereavement charity Holding On Letting Go.

She has now pledged to run the Manchester Marathon this April in memory of Ben and for the organisation.

She unsuccessfully sought counselling for the boys through their GP surgery, which said it had little to offer until the children were 17, and was turned away by bereavement charity Cruse because it had closed its books to children.

Rosie says the family had very few places to turn when her mum telephoned Holding On Letting Go - based at the Wisdom Hospice in Rochester.

Devoted dad-of-three Ben Moss went missing after scuba diving in the Channel

She explained: "They reached out to us when no one else could or would. It was feeling very bleak. I remember sobbing thinking 'no one will help us'.

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"I was sceptical, but mum rang them, they sent someone out to see us and it felt like being hugged. She said to me 'we can help you'.

"They made us feel like we were a little less alone."

Rosie said the work of the charity, which supports children who have suffered a significant loss, swung into gear.

They were able to seek counselling, advice and support and she's been able to take herself and oldest son Monty on a specialist bereavement weekend away organised by Holding On Letting Go.

They also help with smaller more positive light-hearted moments like gifting panto tickets, arranging Christmas presents or inviting the children to a party.

The charity also, Rosie says, stay in touch with all the families it comes into contact with which means both her and the children, including baby Tabitha as she grows up without her dad, can seek support whenever they need it - something which she believes is vitally important as she strives to ensure the tragedy doesn't come to define her tiny trio.

Rosie Moss and family

The 37-year-old, who says she's no athlete and definitely no runner, said she needed this 'monumental challenge' to escape the 'claustrophobic bubble' of grief she found herself in.

Manchester's marathon was chosen, she jokes, because it's known for being the flattest course - but in a nice touch also happens to be Ben's birthplace.

"I needed something to focus on that wasn't grief or being a mum" she explained.

"I needed to do something that was going to do something good for me health wise and give me a sense of achievement. If I could come out of the worst year of my life as a marathon runner then OK.

"I am no athlete, this is going to hurt, it already does, but no physical pain will ever match the emotional agony of telling my children their dad was gone."

Rosie Moss, now training for the Manchester marathon

Praising her boys, now eight and six, for their incredible resilience and how they've coped with the last year, she is utterly determined to make them proud.

"The boys keep asking me if I'm going to win," she says laughing.

"I just hate that Ben's missing it. I hate that he's missing all this."

To learn more about Rosie's marathon campaign or to leave a donation please visit her online fundraising page by clicking here.

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