For years Annie and Mark Montague were told to give up their severely autistic twins as their behaviour became near-impossible to cope with.

The couple refused to abandon their sons and now there is hope, writes Emma Grafton-Williams.

Aged just two, it was clear something was amiss with twin brothers Samuel and Jacob Montague.

Unable to make eye contact, emotionless and lacking all affection, they were described as “being from another galaxy”.

A diagnosis of severe autism followed, sparking a long struggle that would see their devoted parents, Annie and Mark, lose friends, family members and almost their sons.

The behaviour of the twins, now aged 12, became so erratic that they would chew through furniture and even smear their own excrement on the walls, putting a tremendous strain on their mum and dad.

But the couple from Graveney have worked tirelessly to keep their family together, defying the advice of experts to put their boys into a specialist home.

“At the beginning there was no hope,” Annie said. “The prognosis was dire. Experts told us the boys would be unlikely to ever speak and would end up in residential homes. We initially believed them as we were brought up to listen to professionals.”

The couple reached out to medical experts and local authorities, but say they were frequently told to put their sons into a home.

“That was the constant message, as if it was inevitable the twins would be institutionalised,” Mark said. “And as the boys’ behaviour got worse and worse people were asking ‘why haven’t you done it yet?’.

“They said the twins won’t make eye contact with you, they won’t know the difference between mum and the postman and they will never have a meaningful relationship with you. It was very hard to hear.”

As the boys grew, their behaviour became more destructive. Unable to communicate verbally, they lashed out, head-butting, kicking, smashing windows and showing signs of self-harm.

Mark and Annie endured years of little sleep and trips to A&E, with many friends and family members growing distant because of the boys’ behaviour.

“For the first nine years it was just doom and gloom,” Annie said. “I don’t know how we stayed together.”

Mark added: “The boys were at such a stage that all the experts - the school, social services, consultants - said this is out of control, this is it forever, and we were advised to find an institution.

“We were so low and there was so much pressure, even from family and friends, to put them into a residential home.”

At their wits’ end, the couple reached a point where they actually visited two homes in Dorset, almost 200 miles away. It was a time they describe as their “lowest moment”.

"Very, very gradually, we are bringing Jacob and Samuel out into our world, a world in which they have every right to be" - Mark Montague

“It was a long drive,” Mark said. “We were on our knees emotionally, physically and mentally.

“It was overwhelming, but somehow we found whatever it took to not go down that road. We just couldn’t give up our boys. Samuel and Jacob had to be at home with us.”

It proved a dramatic turning point for the couple, who sought out a dedicated carer to help research therapies and treatments.

Instead of choosing medicine to alleviate the boys’ extreme behaviour, they were drawn to a more holistic approach called Handle.

At its core, it teaches to first discover the underlying reasons for an inappropriate behaviour, rather than focusing on correcting it.

Annie and Mark grew less impatient, showing a willingness to accept and understand the way the boys acted.

As improvements were quickly made, the couple learned of the Son-Rise Program – an alternative course of child-led therapy run by the Autism Treatment Centre of America.

It was devised by the parents of an autistic child who was reportedly “cured” in the 1970s using innovative techniques.

In 2014, it brought Mark and Annie to Son-Rise HQ in Massachusetts, where they were funded through a scholarship to complete a week-long training course.

“It was an absolute eye-opener,” Mark said.

“It was almost like a religious experience. It was so intense, being there with other parents from all walks of life and from all over the world.”

On their return to the UK, Mark, a historic building specialist, spent every spare hour constructing a room in the garden to put the therapies into action – and the results were almost instant.

Neither twin had ever made eye contact with their parents, but within two weeks Mark was left overwhelmed by a particularly poignant moment.

“I joined Samuel as he twirled a plate on the table, copying his actions using my own plate,” he said. “He suddenly turned and looked me full in the face and stared into my eyes, holding my gaze.

“It was overwhelming. When a child who appears not to recognise you looks deep into your eyes for the first time you never forget it.

“It was as if he was saying ‘you understand me’. I can’t put into words how I felt.”

Jacob followed soon after, with the new therapies also giving both boys a voice for the first time in their lives.

“We achieved results experts said we would never see,” Mark said.

“Before Son-Rise their speech was nonexistent, but now words are coming and they are improving all the time.

“It’s beyond anything we could have hoped for. A friend who hadn’t seen them for eight months left our house in tears. She couldn’t believe the change.

“Very, very gradually, we are bringing Jacob and Samuel out into our world, a world in which they have every right to be.”

Also helping the boys develop are their dedicated carers Ann and Bethany, as well as 13-year-old brother John-Mark, who goes to the Canterbury Academy.

“He’s the best thing to happen to the twins,” Annie said. “He’s often had to take a back seat but has never complained nor spoken an ill word against his brothers, even in the most testing of times.

“His love and devotion to them is unswerving and strong. He’s a real hero.”

The couple now hope to raise £13,000 to fund a return trip to America with Samuel for an intensive programme.

“Before Son-Rise we were in such a bad place,” Mark said. “Our lives were in tatters.

“We don’t want any parent to have to go through what we’ve been through. The experts are not always right.

“Our greatest wish is that we can give people hope that there is a another way.”

Former legal secretary Annie added: “From being introverted, aggressive and with little obvious emotions, we now have twin sons who thrive on interaction and who are loving, fun and extremely impish. We have hope now instead of despair.”

To donate go to www.gofundme.com/dpwxdg