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A Faversham mum has told of the heartbreaking decision to give birth to a baby boy she knew would not live to see his first birthday.
Nikita Shepherd and her partner Gary Gasson were told their son had little chance of surviving beyond six months after doctors discovered brain abnormalities when she was 23 weeks pregnant.
But the couple decided against a termination, saying the short time they shared with little Ralphylee has given them cherished memories forever.
“The five weeks we had with him were beyond expectation and we’re grateful to have had them,” Miss Shepherd said.
“There was so much that I got to do with Ralphylee, it was just unbelievable.”
Miss Shepherd - already mum to cheeky two-year-old Harvey Shepherd-Webb - says her second pregnancy was beset with complications.
“It was just horrible,” said the 23-year-old, who lives in Nova Avenue.
“When I was about 12 weeks pregnant, everything was fine.
“But when I went back for a scan at 23 weeks, his head was engaged - which meant I could have had the baby any time from then.
“I had to go to London hospitals for scans. They found out about his brain conditions from an MRI scan.
“I was really stressing out. I really thought I was going to lose the baby. At that point they said the baby could take anything from just one breath to living up to six months - or he might not even do that.
“Nearly every week they were asking if I wanted to get rid of him. I kept saying, ‘no, it isn’t happening at all’.”
“Ralphylee was so loved by so many people.." - Nikita Shepherd
At 38 weeks pregnant, Miss Shepherd welcomed Ralphylee into the world on October 27 with her fiancé - also dad to nine-year-old Ruby - by her side at Medway Hospital.
“Once I had him, I couldn’t hear anything - no cry,” said the former Abbey School pupil.
“I remember just saying ‘pray to the lord let me hear that cry’ and in a matter of seconds he was breathing.”
Little Ralphylee spent his first week in hospital, before being transferred to Demelza Hospice Care for Children in Sittingbourne.
“I kept a diary on my phone about what I got to do with him each day,” Miss Shepherd said.
“He got baptised in his fourth week, and he even met Simon Cowell while at Demelza. He got to do so much.
“Ralphylee was so loved by so many people, I had so many visitors in hospital.
“He was just so content. He was so small and delicate but just kept proving the doctors wrong.”
On December 1, Ralphylee died in his mum’s arms, surrounded by his family at the William Harvey Hospital in Ashford.
“The doctors were shocked that he even had five weeks with us,” Miss Shepherd said.
“All throughout my pregnancy they were asking if I wanted to terminate but I kept saying no.
“There are people who get rid of their babies in this situation because they can’t cope.
“But in some ways, my baby proved the doctors wrong. If I had had a termination, I would never have forgiven myself. We got to make memories with him for those five weeks.”
With a young son at home, Miss Shepherd says she is trying to stay strong.
“I am still so speechless about it all,” she said. “It has hit me, but it hasn’t sunk in.
“People keep telling me how strong I am, but I have to stay strong for my other son, Harvey. I do have my moments though.
“Harvey keeps asking where the baby is, and I say ‘he’s a star now’.
“All my family are in Faversham and it has really made us reconnect, and it’s made me and my partner stronger.”
Miss Shepherd has praised staff at both hospitals and Demelza for their care of Ralphylee and says she plans to do fundraising in the future.
“I could not ask for better people who looked after him,” she added.
“If we hadn’t had those people there when he was born, I don’t know whether he would have made it.
“I plan to donate a lot of things to Demelza; I’m going to try and do something every year for them.”
