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A “drunken idiot” burglar who played dead inside a Co-op store mid-raid in a bid to evade police has avoided jail.
Darren Foster, of Folkestone, was discovered horizontal and cloaked with a hoodie when officers searched the Cheriton High Street store in the early hours last September.
Moments before, the 42-year-old entered through an air vent before loading his van with cigarettes and beer by using a store trolley.
A judge sentenced Foster to 18 months custody, suspended for 18 months, at Canterbury Crown Court.
“You climbed through an air vent and when inside the store you ripped out three drawers from the till, broke a cigarette gantry and sought to take a crate of beer, 242 packets of cigarettes and cash within the drawers of £800,” the judge Recorder Angus Withington said.
“A security camera was able to identify a burglary was in operation and that led police to discover you.
“The amount of disruption you would have caused will likely greatly exceed the amount of damage and items you sought to take,” he added.
Equipped with a torch, screwdriver and chisel, Foster parked his van outside the store before skirting around the back, the court heard.
After breaking a security light, he stacked up bread baskets and climbed up them to damage and infiltrate an air vent, prosecutors said.
Once inside, the thief ransacked the cigarette kiosk, raided tills and stole a crate of beer, then loaded his ill-gotten gains into the back of the vehicle.
But when Foster returned to the store, security cameras had already alerted a staff member, who rushed to the scene and was joined by police.
“An officer could hear a noise, removes his taser, and sees an individual trying to hide laying down with a hoodie over him,” Charles Hannaford, prosecuting said.
When officers rolled Foster over, his tools were discovered beneath him, while a subsequent search revealed he was in possession of a Stanley knife, Mr Hannaford continued.
Foster identified himself as a man named Paul, however a vehicle registration check revealed his true identity.
A total of 242 packets of cigarettes, £804 and a case of Kronnenberg lager were discovered inside the van.
Foster pleaded guilty to going equipped to burgle, possession of a knife and burglarly at the earliest opportunity.
Jack Triggs, defending, said Foster, of Millfield, Folkestone, became addicted to alcohol and cocaine after a family tragedy.
“In his own words he was a drunken idiot,” he added.
Mr Triggs said Foster, who has served five months on remand, had not caused “wanton damage” inside the store and “is willing to admit what he has done and take the punishment.”
Appearing in a chef’s uniform from HMP Elmley via videolink, Foster will be released from prison with immediate effect.