It's less than 100 days to Christmas so John Nurden gets his gladrags on to explore the strange world of panto dames...

Look on the bright side, it was the first time in decades that I had hair, of sorts, back on my head.

But, if truth be told, being a panto dame is a lot harder than it looks. And it can be quite a bit of bother.

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I speak from experience after a whirlwind baptism of fire into the dark arts of damesmanship from fellow novice Rob Cummings while being watched by a bemused cast including James 'Arg' Argent from The Only Way Is Essex.

It will be Rob's first go at being a man in a frock when he plays Widow Twankey in Aladdin this December at The Woodville, Gravesend.

So the editor thought it would be a wheeze if I rubbed my lamp, spoke to the genie and joined Rob on a dame workshop to get a few tips.

But first, I called my pal Paul Harris, a veteran panto dame currently holed up on the Isle of Sheppey and author of The Panto Mime Book, for some advice.

"A pantomime dame workshop sounds good," he told me. "A traditional dame is a caricature of a woman of a certain age, not a drag act, although that seems to be the thing at the moment. Good luck with it, I can’t wait to see you in a frock."

There are some men who crave dameship and others have it thrust upon them.

Rob, 33, from across the water in Essex, philosophically sees it as a career move up the slippery ladder of showbiz. It will be his seventh season at Gravesend.

In that time, he has been in lots of adverts, played James Bond in Live and Let Dine on stage and risen up the panto ranks from being a king (although I would have thought that was a pretty cool role) to getting booed playing an array of nasty villains. Now he's armed with a bra.

The 6ft 6in giant explained: "I'm going for the Les Dawson look, a very butch, manly man in a dress."

His girlfriend Lucy Halfhead may need some convincing. Rob admitted: "When I first met her, I was playing sultry, sexy villains. She loved bringing her friends to see the panto. When I broke the news of my latest role she said 'Oh no'. But at least I'm getting insider tips on make-up what type of bras to wear."

Strange, the conversations some men have.

Rob had always been the class clown at school but he caught the panto bug after being taken the Cliff's Pavilion, Southend, to see John Inman and the Chuckle Brothers.

"That was my dream job, to be in panto with the Chuckle Brothers," he recalled.

But to more pressing matters. It was time for dame class. Rob had cheated. He arrived earlier and already had his 'slap' on. Like circus clowns, I'm told no two dames have the same face.

He helped me clamber into a spare frock and then watched as my face was transformed into something resembling Ming The Merciless.

There was rouge for my cheeks, blue shadow for my eyes, black for eyelashes and an essential 'beauty spot' and a bright red splodge of lipstick.

"Normally, I glue my eyebrows with Pritt Stick to stop the make-up clinging to them," Rob gleefully let slip. Now he tells me!

As he put me me through my paces I learned how to give a little showbiz twirl (it's all in the arms, apparently) and then I shimmied centre stage to address an imaginary audience.

I was stuck for a stage name, however. There has been a Dame Durden but I'm looking for alliteration to go with N. Nana Nurden has been suggested. Perhaps readers can be more inventive?

'Arg', 34, who has appeared in proper stuff like The Real Dirty Dancing with Anthea Turner, since his TOWIE days, had been watching silently from the wings.

He told me: "Panto is right up my street. I'm really looking forward to treading the boards in Gravesend because it will only be 45 minutes from my home. Normally, I'm miles away from my friends and family at Christmas."

I'm guessing it is only a matter of time before he gets the call to become a dame too.

Meanwhile, Rob and the rest of the cast abandoned me as I desperately tried to work out how best to remove my make-up. I take my hat off to ladies who have mastered this important ritual using strange concoctions including coconut milk.

Suffice to say, I didn't know about that little ruse at the time and found, to my cost, that just using water doesn't work. Oh no it doesn't...

* Aladdin is at The Woodville, Gravesend, from December 2 to January 1. Box office 01474 337500 or here.

It features Nathan Zammit from Maidstone in the title role of Aladdin with Thanet's Georgia Rowland-Elliot as Princess Jasmine, Michael 'Dizzy O'Dare' Imerson as Wishee Washee, The Man They Call G as the evil Abanazar and The Only Way Is Essex star James 'Arg' Argent as the police sergeant.