Popular businessman Phil Benfield's determined battle to fight cancer and live every moment he could
Published: 14:00, 17 November 2014
Updated: 14:19, 17 November 2014
A family man, a doting granddad, a one-off, a Jack the Lad – just some of the ways Phil Benfield will be remembered.
And his fiercely-fought battle with the cancer that should have claimed his life long before it did this week was testament to his determined will to live.
The 58-year-old chose not to be defeated when he was told his illness was incurable in 2010, instead setting himself a goal – to see his baby grandson start school.
And he lived to see that day on September 11, eight weeks before slipping away on Monday morning surrounded by his family at the Pilgrims Hospice in Canterbury.
The nurses there would have met few, if any, patients like Phil, whose friends brought in both Champagne and lobster as they made the most of his final days.
But it was as if Phil was always destined to live a life of fun and festivity.
A Christmas Eve baby, he was born in 1955, in Canvey Island, Essex.
He moved to Herne Bay in 1976 with his mum Dee, elder sister Lin and brother Andy, living on-site at the Campfields care home in Micklebugh Hill, where Dee was a matron.
Phil soon started work as a bus driver in Canterbury before taking a job on coach trips.
The day before his 22nd birthday he met Noreen Baker, the woman he would later call his wife for 32 years.
They married on July 10, 1982, in St Martin’s Church, Herne – where Phil’s life will be remembered next Friday.
The couple lived in Lindridge Close before moving to Upper Free Down when their first son Joe was eight months old – four days before the Great Storm of 1987 ripped the roof from their new house.
Noreen, 55, said: “We moved in on the Monday and on the Thursday night we had the big storm.
“We didn’t know any of the neighbours and they were all staring at the house we had just bought. It had no roof where the chimney had just fallen straight through it.”
In 1988 Phil set up his own business, Harbour Beers – a venture that would earn him both success and the affectionate nickname “Phil the Beer”.
He was renowned for his generosity and was quick to share the rewards of his hard work and good fortune – but sometimes too quick, as Noreen recalled with a smile on her face.
“When we bought our first house mortgage rates went sky high so to make ends meet I started working in the First and Last pub,” she said.
“I didn’t drive then so Phil used to pick me up, but he’d buy everybody in the bar a drink and end up spending more than I’d just earned. That was Phil to a tee.
“In the end I used to make him wait outside and beep the horn.”
The couple’s second son Charlie was born in 1989 and the two boys Phil doted on became three following the birth of his grandson Freddie in 2010.
Joe – Freddie’s dad – said: “When dad found out he was ill his goal was to see Freddie start school and he got that. He loved being a granddad. That’s what he lived for.”
Phil was diagnosed with prostate cancer in March 2009 and the following August given the bombshell news that it was incurable.
But with an intense desire to live every minute he could, he battled on, enduring surgery, trial drugs and bouts of chemotherapy and radiotherapy.
Joe, 27, said: “He was never, ever negative. He had such strength and courage to fight on and live.
“He’d be laying there unable to get up but was still positive. He was never downbeat about it.
“One thing he always said was he could cry or laugh his way through it and he chose to laugh.
“I admired his desire to live. He was a great dad.”
A karaoke fan, Phil could never resist grabbing the microphone to give a rendition of Mack the Knife.
Charlie, 25, said: “He was always the life and soul of the party. It was never quiet when he was about.
“He was very generous and would give you the shirt off his back. He always put others before himself.”
Phil’s niece Kelly Doran added: “He was incredibly kind to everybody he met and very fun loving. He lived life to the full really, whether that was working hard, living hard or partying hard.”
Phil’s generosity even stretched continents, notably to Africa, where he was a regular visitor to a local village in Kenya – earning himself the tribe name Mutua.
He would bring the locals supplies and was once even stopped at customs because officials were concered about the amount of sweets he had.
Noreen, who joined him on some of his trips, said: “He loved it out there and must have gone more than 10 times. He loved the people, the culture and the animals.”
But it was his love for his family and friends that Phil Benfield will be best remembered for.
Noreen said: “He would do anything for you. He was just so kind and caring. He was always there for his friends and at the end they were there for him 24/7.
“He was so charismatic and would light up a room. He was my soulmate. He was a one-off.”
Phil’s funeral will be held at St Martin’s Church in Herne at 11.15am on Friday. November, 21, followed by a private committal at Herne Bay Cemetery and a wake at the Smugglers Inn in Herne, where all are welcome.
Family flowers only are requested, while donations can be made to the Pilgrims Hospice, care of Beltinge and District Funeral Services, Reculver Road, Herne Bay, 01227 363300.
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