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Heartbreak as popular barman who worked across east Kent found dead on Herne Bay beach

By: Gerry Warren gwarren@thekmgroup.co.uk

Published: 05:00, 17 August 2023

Updated: 13:55, 17 August 2023

The devastated family of a young man who took his own life say his kind, caring and fun personality will never be forgotten.

The body of 26-year-old Toby Barrowcliff was discovered on the beach at Herne Bay shortly before 6am on Friday.

Toby with fiancée Lucy Fruin and stepdaughter Miley

Police say there are no suspicious circumstances and his death has been reported to the coroner for investigation.

Toby, a barman, lived close by in Sea Street and was engaged to be married.

But his family say his apparent happy-go-lucky outlook masked the depression he was battling.

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“He could be the life and soul of the party but we knew he had his mental health struggles,” said his eldest sister Lucy Speller, 34, who also lives in the town.

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“He was taking anti-depressants but we never thought it would end like this. We are all heartbroken.”

Some of Toby Barrowcliff’s loved ones at the scene of his death in Herne Bay, where flowers have been laid by wellwishers
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Toby had worked in numerous bars and restaurants across Whitstable, Herne Bay and Ramsgate.

At the time of his death, he was employed at The Pier Ceylon on Herne Bay seafront.

He went to Pilgrims Way and Wincheap primary schools in Canterbury as a child and lived in Hersden, before moving away to live with his father, Rob, in Yorkshire.

But he returned to east Kent about seven years ago to be close to his many siblings.

“Toby was happiest working behind the bar, creating cocktails,” said Lucy.

Toby Barrowcliff, pictured with his sister Elle and dad Rob

“He was always on the move but worked variously at the Albion Rooms in Cliftonville, and Churchills, El Tricolore and De Flame in Ramsgate.

“He also had jobs at 39 in Whitstable and at Whitstable Castle, so he knew a lot of people.

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“Once you met Toby, you could never forget him. He was that kind of personality.

“He made an impact on everyone he met and was always there for you if you needed a rant, a shoulder to cry on, or especially if you needed someone to help you drink the shots.

“But he also doted on his many nephews and nieces.”

Barman Toby worked at many venues across east Kent

Toby had been engaged to his fiancée, Lucy Fruin, for about 18 months.

Paying her own heartfelt tribute to him on her Facebook page, she said: “All who knew him know what an amazing man he was but unfortunately some people’s pasts haunt them too much to want to carry on.

“He was an incredible stepdad to our little princess and we will forever love him with everything we have.

“You will never be forgotten my darling – you will always be my one true love. I don’t know how I’m gonna carry on without you by my side. I’m still in utter shock and just want to wake up from this nightmare.”

The family say they have been overwhelmed by all the messages and grateful of support they have received since Toby’s death.

But they are urging anyone with a family member or friend in a similar situation to Toby to seek the support of mental health services.

“Toby was taking pills but it clearly wasn’t enough,” said Lucy.

For confidential support on an emotional issue, call Samaritans on 116 123 at any time or click here to visit the website.

If you want to talk to someone confidentially, click here.

Toby Barrowcliff with his dad, Rob

Family friend Sarah Robinson has also launched a GoFundMe page in a bid to raise money towards his funeral.

“We want to give him the best possible send-off, because he deserves it,” she said.

“But as a whole, everyone is struggling with finances. With that in mind, I have decided to start this fundraiser.

“Funeral arrangements are yet to be discussed but any help financially will be greatly appreciated by all of his family.”

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