Blag yourself Welsh as Wales encounter Portugal in Euro 2016
Published: 00:01, 06 July 2016
Britain's entire football hopes hinge on Wales - for the first time in... well, a very long time!
So, as we prepare for a nail-biting encounter with Portugal in Lyon tonight, here's our guide to help you brush up on everything Welsh - or how to blag yourself Taffy in 10 easy lessons.
1. Proudly declare how much you simply adore seaweed rolled in oatmeal then boiled for several hours (laver bread - a Welsh delicacy)
2. Yes, of course you know why a Welshman is called a Taffy! (named after the river Taff that runs through the capital).
3. Grab the recipe book... you might need to brush up on your Welsh Rarebit. Now, where's the cheese...?
4. You'll need to practise your chants... in Welsh! How about 'Cymru am byth' (pronounce: come-ree am bith) - or Wales for ever?
5. So, to be a proper Welsh person, you're going to have to try saying your sentences backwards - ending in a question, eg, 'loving the match, is it?' or 'great pass by Bale, wasn't it?'
6. Get some brownie points, by saying, 'yes, of course I can pronounce Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch'. If you can do it after a few pints you can award yourself extra points.
7. Get with the lingo. Pepper your sentences with the words/phrases, 'tidy', 'there's lovely', and 'over by there'.
8. If the team's not doing as well as expected you might need a "cwtch" - a particular type of lovely bear hug.
9. Make sure you know all the words to Tom Jones's Delilah - you'll need it! But you might as well just mouth the words to the national anthem (most Welsh people do!).
10. If all else fails, drown your sorrows in a few pints of Brains SA.
The match is being aired on ITV from 8pm tonight.
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KentOnline reporter