It’s official - the nightmare before Christmas has begun.

Seemingly within minutes of children returning to school after the summer break, the ad men have begun their annual TV onslaught guaranteed to strike fear into the wallets of parents the world over.

I couldn’t believe it when I saw the ads on TV while at the gym the other Sunday morning (Saturday-night clubbing being a distant, misty memory) as I plodded and puffed away on the treadmill.

The shock almost stopped me in my tracks. Luckily it didn’t as I would have been flung into that shadowy corner where metal weights on bars are thrown around by grunting pit bull-like creatures - only to resurface days later as a pile of meat-picked, glistening white bones.

Despite not having young children (mine are both adults) I felt a rush of anxiety for those faced with an almost four-month blitzkrieg launched by the cynical ad men on our eager-to-be-brainwashed offspring.

The panoply of possibilities flashed relentlessly; space shuttles; racing cars; dinosaurs (plastic ones); building kits; an assortment of girlie make-up and hairdressing things; and board games.

"Wait a minute", I thought. "Proper toys and board games (constantly referred to as bored games by my children) - what’s going on?" I don’t know if it’s just early days in the campaign, but there was not a computer game in sight.

The toys were solid and three-dimensional and some to be played by more than one person at a time, games where you push counters around a colourful, unfolded board.

Please tell me we’re returning to an age where our children are allowed to use their imaginations and all the age groups can enjoy playing games together.

A whole new world has opened up for me. My blues over the wet summer have disappeared and the credit crunch has slipped down a brightly-coloured snake as I excitedly leap onto another ladder.

I’m addicted. I can’t wait for weekend morning TV. I record everything so I can skip through the programmes to watch the ads. I want to see what else is new.

Oh please, I want one of those and, wow!, that one too. Look at what that can do! Oh please let me have one of those. I’ll be ever so good . . . honest. Oh please, please!