IT CAN’T have been the Swedes. They said they were partying until 4am under the midnight sun, and they must surely have refuelled with black coffee.

The Japanese would have preferred the green tea, wouldn’t they? And we didn’t see any other Brits in the hotel.

So it remained a mystery as to why all the “English breakfast tea” bags had always disappeared by the time we arrived (admittedly late) each morning in the Reykjavik dining room.

Oh, the waitresses refilled the container on the breakfast bar willingly enough when prompted, but you would think they might have noticed that they were constantly running out of it, while being left with a boxful of virtually untouched fruit-flavoured “teas”.

I know it’s irrational, but the concept of raspberry tea, blackcurrant tea, or lemon tea, causes me to suffer an unjustifiable, jingoistic irritation. Proper, unadulterated Indian tea with lemon juice in it, rather than milk, I understand.

But, come on, a bag of lemon tea? It’s not really tea at all, is it? Lemon juice, lemon squash, even Beecham’s Powders plus hot lemon, but lemon tea must be in breach of some Euro trades descriptions act, even in Iceland, surely?

You would find a tea-flavoured lemon, or tea-flavoured raspberry a bit of an abomination, wouldn’t you?

Anyway, although I’ve never really minded when other countries fail to do tea at all, we have so few reasons to feel superior to foreigners these days that it’s nice to indulge in some easy, patronising sneers when they try.

You learn to specify, in Spanish-speaking countries, for milk to be served separately from tea, so that you don’t end up with a teabag in a cup of hot milk or, as at Madrid airport, milk helpfully added to a mint tea.

And yet … I suppose the risible “instant tea” granules I tried (once) in Finland, for instance, are no more pathetic than my jar of instant coffee must seem to those whose caffeine culture is based on infusions or filters of ground beans.

I feel a reference to pots and kettles coming on – but I’ll need a good cup of tea before I can work it out.