"So what on earth is this crazy world coming to when young men arrive at work dishevelled, tie-less, scruffy, unwashed and distinctly suit-less?

“Suit? I’ve never owned one,” breathed a 20-something car salesman, sans tie and without any vestige of grooming, trying to sell me a Ford Focus and failing abysmally."

The grumpy bark of Major(Rtd) Gerald Bartlett, the Medway Messenger's former military correspondent and original Old Codger.

For a splendid two years Gerry entertained readers of our Monday print edition with his rants, obscure words and valiant attempts to battle injustice and scruffy oiks.

In December the Major officially retired from his Medway Messenger posting. It potentially left fellow grumps Alan Watkins and Peter Cook to battle on alone.

Luckily they've been supported so far in 2009 by a couple of volunteers - a sort of Codgers WI - but Medway Messenger online want to extend a welcome to the club for the next generation of ranters who feel they have whimsical whinges to share.

Do you have what it takes to rant or whimsically reminsce on issues baffling you and fellow residents of the Medway Towns?

To be considered send 300 words ranting on a subject or subjects of your choice by email to medwaymessenger@thekmgroup.co.uk

You will need to agree to have your photograph taken and live in the vicinity of the Medway unitary authority [if you live just over the border you'll need to measure the distance exactly or have a commanding view of a Medway sight - ed]

Age is not an issue as Codgerism is - we're told - an attitude not decided by your number of wrinkles or amount of grey.

Video entries would also be welcome. Good luck.