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Fostering: 'Physically and mentally draining - but so fulfilling'

Julie and Danny Jarvis have cared for more than 100 children
Julie and Danny Jarvis have cared for more than 100 children

There are 36 families on the Island who offer foster care. May 12–25 is the Fostering Network’s annual Foster Care Fortnight, which aims to raise awareness about foster care and encourage people to recognise they may already have the qualities needed to be a foster carer. JULIE and DANNY JARVIS spoke to reporter Emma Grove about their many years doing the job.

Julie and Danny have been fostering children for 23 years. The couple, of Minster Road, Minster, decided to foster after adopting 24 years ago, and estimate they have cared for more than 100 children.

Julie said: “A social worker saw potential in Danny and myself and said we would make good foster carers.”

The couple stress the importance of working together, and describe themselves as a ‘Foster Family’.

Julie, 49, said her family was so supportive.

“They know not to ask questions about the job. They are very accepting when there’s a new face here.”

As a family who have done this for many years, they understand how daunting it is for people who are just starting out as foster carers.

They explain it can feel very intrusive at the beginning but with the right planning you can work around the job.

Julie said: “It takes many years of fostering to get the balance – it doesn’t just fit in with your life. You have to work hard at it.

“You need to make sure you have time with yourself, with each other and as a family. If you don’t take care of yourself you can’t take care of others.”

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There are 36 families in Sheppey who offer foster care.

~ In Kent there are 1,144 cared for children, approximately 900 of these children are fostered.

~ Foster Care Fortnight aims to recruit 110 foster carers for Kent.

~ There are almost 73,000 children and young people living away from home in public care at any one time.

~ In the UK, the Fostering Network estimates there is a shortage of 10,000 foster carers.

~ On any given day in the UK there are more than 50,000 children and young people who are living with foster families.

~ There are approximately 37,000 foster carers in England.

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The couple emphasise the importance of teamwork and of being clear, fair and firm – if they say no, they explain why.

As for the tougher aspects of fostering, Julie says: “It’s very emotional and it can be a physically and mentally draining job, but it’s fulfilling.

“I have a passion for it. The good far outweigh the not so good times. Some parents are self-conscious and wary but we allow them time to see we are not here to take away their children – hopefully we’re here to help.

“Fostering is about communicating and it doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time to build a relationship.

“Every placement is different and you have to do what works for the child and the family.”

To find out the different types of foster care, click here >>>

The couple are also full of praise for the support they receive.

“We have got an excellent support team and couldn’t do this job without it,” said Julie.

The couple are adamant there is no such thing as a bad child, and it is never a child’s fault they are in care as they are not in a position to make decisions.

Talking about the most rewarding things, Julie says: “If you get a child in school on a regular basis and grades go up it’s a really good feeling.”

Most of the children they have fostered keep in touch, and they speak fondly of two cases.

Danny, 51, said: “Our very first placement came and found us – she asked around until she did. One day we saw her walking down the drive with her two children.

“And one girl had left us six years and got married and we went as her parents [to the wedding] which was really emotional.”

If you would like to become a foster carer or are interested in finding out more, contact fosterline 0800 040 7675 or visit www.couldyoufoster.org.uk

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