Saturday evening I set off to Mount Ephraim to host the kmfm firework event and it was wet, very wet, and there was something wrong with the car.

The clutch pedal seemed to be doing strange things and the gearbox was making some very loud noises as I tried to change gear.

I pressed on through the quiet streets of Hernhill hoping that nothing would bring me to the grinding halt which would bring about a premature end to my journey. Fortunately nothing did and I drove into an almost empty car park, parked up and went to survey the scene which was one of driving rain and sodden fields.

I made myself known to the organisers and explained I had another event to attend as soon as this one was underway so I would need to get out of the car park quickly.

“No problem,” they said.

But it was – more about that later.

I set about doing my best to entertain the small, cold, bedraggled crowd.

“Anyone here from Faversham?” I shouted. Someone let fly with an expletive from the front row.

“Whitstable?” A muffled roar from a bloke near the beer tent.

“Herne Bay?” Silence.

“Canterbury?” Nothing.

I then proceeded to read out a long series of thanks to the many who had made the event possible including the Dawes family who had loaned the use of their garden for the event ending with a special thanks to the crowd for coming out on such a rotten night and adding that: “If you look up there you can just about make out the moon breaking through the clouds so the rest of the evening should be fine.”

Two minutes later the heavens opened and the heaviest rain of the evening fell.

By now it was 6.30pm. I was wet, cold and miserable but there was still an hour to go and games had to be played.

Everything went well, the crowd seem to buck up and were in good spirits considering the weather and it was going swimmingly until about 7.30.

“There will be a short delay whilst the last few cars get parked, then this years Mount Ephraim firework display will get underway, in the meantime let’s have a rehearsal of the countdown. Are you ready? 10, 9, 8 etc . . . “

7.35pm. Man with radio announces that the last few cars are being parked up and “Can you let them know.”

“There will be a short delay whilst the last few cars get parked, then this years Mount Ephraim firework display will get underway, in the meantime let’s have a rehearsal of the countdown. Are you ready? 10, 9, 8 etc . . . “

7.40pm. Man with radio announces that the last few cars are being parked up and “Can you let them know.”

“There will be a short delay . . .” – you know the rest!

Weather hits fireworks display>>>

Eventually, the countdown over, the fireworks go off and I head for the exit.

“Where are you going?” says someone in a yellow coat.

“Home,” I say.

“No you’re not, you’ll have to wait until the display has ended.”

“The head man’s given me the OK, it was agreed when I arrived.”

Yellow coat gets on radio.

“OK,” he says after much mumbling “You’re free to leave but keep low.”

I duck down behind the cars as the fireworks are being let off in an adjacent field, forgetting that the clutch is playing up and am forced to ram it into gear before setting off on the long, winding journey out of the grounds and home.

Except that I’m stopped by about 50 yellow coats before I’ve gone 30 feet who want to know what I’m doing.

“Going home,” I say.

More mumbling into radio before I’m allowed to pass. I then spend the next five embarrassing minutes in front of this motley crew as I sit there grinding the gears until at last I manage to get into third and with much revving get moving again.

I hear one of them say as I pass: “Been having a few problems, Sir?”

•Listen to Bob on kmfm each weekday morning on 106fm from 7-11am