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Despite being 85, Patrick Wilson gave chase when he realised a scam artist had made off with £500 of his jewellery.
The feisty pensioner was approached by the woman as he was preparing to water the flowers outside Holy Trinity Church in Sheerness.
The thief – who is in her 40s, of Indian appearance and was accompanied by a young boy – came up to him and spoke in broken English.
Despite Mr Wilson's protests, she began putting jewellery on him to cause confusion.
He said: "She put two rings in my hand and said 'you must have it, you are very nice man'.
"I said 'I don’t want them, I don't need them', but she kept saying 'they are for you'."
The woman then put three gold chain necklaces around the former customs officer's neck before making him try a bracelet on his right wrist.
As she was putting her worthless jewellery on him, she was taking his off.
Mr Wilson added: "She was clever the way she took my bracelet. When she is taking it off you're not conscious of it, she was so quick.
"Of course it wasn't until they went I realised my necklaces were missing so I chased after them but I couldn’t see where they had gone."
The pair had left in the direction of HSBC, but the church volunteer did not see where they went after that.
He continued down Trinity Road and through the car park to the High Street where he found an off-duty policeman, who took him to Sheerness police station.
Mr Wilson lost a crucifix that he bought for his late brother John and was left to him when he died.
He also lost a chain with a Greek column that he bought from Rhodes and a gold chain given to him by his twin brother Donald.
Mr Wilson said he wants his keepsakes back and he wants to see the woman caught.
Police are investigating the theft, which happened at around 11am last Wednesday, and looking for an Indian woman with gold teeth, who was wearing a long multi-coloured sari, with material covering her hair.