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KENT'S X FACTOR hopeful Ben Mills is desperate for his fans to vote for him after suffering a crisis of confidence.
The singer, from Whitstable, has admitted he had faced a secret battle with laryngitis which meant he did not know until last Saturday if he would be fit to perform in the weekend’s live show.
And he also revealed he feared losing his dream to pretty rival Leona Lewis after she won praise from the judges.
Speaking from the show’s studios in London, the 26-year-old marquee company boss said he was finding things hard.
“Winning is getting close,” he said. “But last week wasn’t that good for me. I have lost my bottle a bit in the last couple of weeks.
“Simon’s comments last week knocked me a bit. No one has ever slated me in my whole musical career and now I know if I make the slightest error I am going to get nailed for it.”
He has visited a Harley Street doctor after suffering a bad sore throat this week and was diagnosed with acute laryngitis, which added to his problems.
“This week has been a bit hard,” he said. “I have got a feeling that Simon is trying everything in his power to make sure Leona wins.
“I am getting a bit disheartened.”
This week the remaining five finalists will record the single that the winner will release and they have already shot the photograph for the cover.
But they have also had to cope with a gruelling rehearsal schedule that added to the pressure felt by Ben.
“I haven’t been able to do any of the rehearsals or sound checks and I think I probably only have one song in me,” he said before Saturday’s show.
Luckily his song, Joe Cocker’s version of the Beatles hit With A Little Help from My Friends was one he already knew.
His vocal coaches wanted him to accompany himself on an electric guitar but he persuaded them to provide a piano instead.
“I just felt it worked better,” he said.
And he added that he was dreading ending up in the bottom two contestants, who have to sing again before the judges make the final decision on who goes home.
“Saturday is a whole day of stress,” he said. “I hate the results more than anything,
“My legs start to shake and if I am not in the first two names mentioned I start to worry I won’t be able to remember my song.
I just try to focus on singing again but I really dread being in the bottom two.”