More on KentOnline
More on KentOnline
There has been an increase in the number of young people who are coming out as gay, lesbian or bisexual in Kent during the coronavirus pandemic, according to leading members of the LGBT community.
Craig Liddell, from Medway, knew he was gay for three years but feels the shift in environment lockdown created pushed him to finally come out to his family.
The 19-year-old said: "Before lockdown it was on my mind whether to do it or not but I was able to distract myself with going to uni every day.
"Lockdown forced me to think about myself a bit more. I probably would have kept delaying it if it wasn't for me asking those tough questions I was putting off."
The politics and law student thought he would never come out to his parents but, instead, when the day came, he would tell them he had a boyfriend. But the more he thought about it, the more he realised he would not be comfortable having a relationship before they knew.
After meeting new friends online while in isolation, those who were LGBT were there to give him an insight into what to expect after coming out.
Being stuck at home also gave him more time to spend with his parents. He added: "I never knew what my parents' views were on gay people. That was part of the reason why I was very hesitant to come out. I didn't want to have a nasty surprise."
When he came out, Craig felt a burden lift from his shoulders. He says he feels very lucky to have his father be just a little "taken aback" and a mother who says she already knew.
Craig is not alone in feeling the pull to come out in lockdown, says Helanna Bowler-Irvine, chair of Gravesham Pride Community Interest Company, and Hilary Cooke, chair of Medway Pride Community Organisation, who ran a joint virtual pride in August.
Helanna said: "During pride, we had a lot of questions from people who decided over lockdown that they had to come out because they were stuck at home with family members who didn't know anything about them. They were hiding this part of themselves 24/7.
"It is a positive thing, but also a concern. We want to make sure those people are in a place where they're psychologically and physically safe, because they don't have anywhere to go.
"We did have some people contact us because they were living with their parents but had been thrown out prior to the pandemic. They were living in shared housing and hostels where people didn't know them or they didn't feel particularly safe disclosing their identities to other residents.
Watch: Pride organisations say lockdown has meant more young people are embracing their sexualities
"They used to be able to go out all day, find some safe spaces and find some friends. But now they can't."
Kent homeless charity, Porchlight, recently spoke to KentOnline about its efforts to help LGBT people pushed into having 'survival sex' to keep a roof over their head.
The experiences of LGBT people are as diverse as the community itself. While more lesbian, gay and bisexual people are contacting organisations about coming out, transgender people are facing their medical transitions being delayed.
Hilary, who is also CEO of Medway Gender and Sexual Diversity Centre, added: "Those people fortunate enough to have got into the process of seeing a gender clinic are continuing to carry out their assessments virtually - if they can.
"But those stuck on waiting lists see waiting time extending and extending. It's leaving lots of people in limbo waiting years for their first appointment. You could easily be looking five to seven years for people to get through the whole transition process."
However, all this hasn't stopped the community from pulling together. Tony Butcher, owner of The Limes gay bar in Canterbury says the 10pm closures and people isolating has left them just scraping by.
With no paid bar or door staff, he says just enough people are volunteering to keep the bar running so struggling LGBT people still have somewhere to go when the pandemic is over.
Tony added: "The gay community need a lot of help, but they have supported us tremendously. Lots of people I haven't seen for years are turning up from as far as London to buy a drink.
"If it wasn't for the community we would be in a right pickle. We are just hanging on with me pumping all my savings into the bar and I don't know how we are going to come out of the end of this."
When asked if he thinks the community will shrink if some of the few gay bars Kent close down, he said: "That is probably what will happen and it's heartbreaking.
"I'm in confusion and despair and I hope there is an end very soon. I sit down and talk to every single person coming through that door, cheering them up when I feel dull inside as well."
Many in Gravesham and Medway felt deeply upset to hear each area's first pride was cancelled following restrictions. But it turns out holding the event online created a whole new and inclusive experience.
Helanna said: "Pride isn't just a party, it is a huge part of our cultural history. It's like losing Santa Claus at Christmas.
"But we've learned doing this virtually is something the community actually enjoyed. We had a lot more closeted, disabled and older people joining who wouldn't go to pride because of accessibility or confidence issues. It gave them the opportunity to feel safe and secure doing it in their own home."
Next summer, Medway and Gravesham are planning to have 'the pride that never was' but they intend to encourage organisations to set up their own events and continue the beloved week-long festival.
