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Forget X Factor; this was a night of blood, sweat, the odd wrong chord and the occasional forgotten lyric.
But at least they were forgetting their own lyrics.
This week - as Simon Cowell and co. were no doubt looking forward with glee to a lavish Christmas courtesy of legendary tune-smith Leonard Cohen - four bands in a pub in Maidstone were toughing it out with their own songs in a musical skirmish that could only result in one survivor.
It was a savage, hard-bitten, old fashioned Battle of the Bands, where combatants lived or died on the swing of a hip or shake of a maraca. And yes, they even had to play their own instruments.
First up in the grand final of Zebra Bar’s six-month long knock-out competition were The Mondays; a five piece outfit who came all the way from the Isle of Sheppey armed with a set of roughly-hewn knock-out ska/punk songs (check out Boys Outside the Shop) and an even more formidable contingent of travelling fans.
With their ferociously choppy sound - imagine The Ordinary Boys being chased by a tribe of wild machete wielding Amazons - they frightened the crowd into dancing and in many ways looked the most assured band of the night.
Next up were Maidstone-Sittingbourne band He Who Dares, whose weird mix of alt-rock geek-cool vocals and neo-Hendrix guitar heroics almost outflanked the competition in a musical pincer movement probably not seen since the glory years of prog rock.
Sadly, the brave double-pronged musical effort would not bring glory in this battle, although the medley of classic Christmas hits went down well, even as it wavered in and out of tune.
Then came Aliquot Flow, an intriguingly-named three piece from Gillingham, who took to the stage with confidence and must have scared their opponents with a devastatingly assured performance of original and complex compositions topped with powerful vocals.
But if they wowed the judges - three of the four-strong panel deemed Aliquot Flow the top act of the night - the audience was not as impressed, and it was the next band, The Novels, who stole the popular vote and won the night with their no-nonsense formula of melodic vocals, harmonies, and well-crafted tunes.
It was an impressive win considering the voting system that gave each judge the power to award 35 votes to their favourite band, handing Aliquot Flow a more than useful 105 vote head-start.
In the end though, each band could leave the scene of battle with their heads held high and the several-hundred strong audience firmly on their side.
Organiser Sue Bell could leave the pub proud.
If the new X Factor single is for girls whose musical horizons extend no further than the end of their sofa; this was something for the boys hanging round outside the shop.