Won't get fooled again? The April Fools that tricked Kent over the decades
Published: 12:00, 01 April 2023
Updated: 12:00, 01 April 2023
Villagers in a picturesque Kent hamlet have welcomed plans to fell a swathe of ecologically-diverse ancient woodland, to make way for "exclusive, high-density" housing...
Or have they? Of course they haven't. It's midday on April 1 and this morning has seen thousands of people across the land tricked by innumerable tricks and jokes, some more believable than others.
Did you get fooled by KentOnline's story? Perhaps you're already on your way to the pub to try Shepherd Neame's new ale, Master Brew's new other half, Mistress Brew?
If not, did some other sneaky businesses around the county catch you out?
Like the early announcement Rochester would be getting a brand new Dirty Martini bar and club.
Or St Andrews Lakes in Halling claiming it would be introducing a special class of dolphins to its waters this summer.
A fake spokesman said: "The signature dolphin swim experience begins with your group meeting a dolphin in one of our crystal clear lagoons.
"Next, one of our animal care specialists will teach you all about dolphin habits, behaviours, and their incredible communication abilities.
"After that, each group member will get a chance to individually interact with a dolphin and maybe even have a ride back to our lakeside beach - no need for a paddleboard!"
Meanwhile, Leeds Castle was advertising its jousting zebra tournaments.
Sittingbourne councillor James Hunt's announcement housing estate The Meads would be joining the Ultra Low Emission Zone (ULEZ) was met with nervous laughter.
One man said: "My heart sank for a moment, just a moment! Good effort James!"
While another added: "This is awesome. Happy Aprils Fool day everyone."
If you didn't get caught out, there's always a few that are; and a trawl through the KM archives reveals a rich history of Kentish April-foolery over recent decades.
Back in 1983, villagers in Sandhurst awoke on the morning of April 1 to find they were apparently going to lose their village green, with a large sign placed on it, stating it was now a "KCC development site for mosque".
The hoax was the idea of Guy Matthews and Trefor Rutherford, both of Cranbrook School, and whether or not their schoolmasters approved is not recorded.
If they didn't, those teachers could at least take some solace from the fact the pranksters had done their homework – their notices had all the hallmarks of officialdom, headed with "Tunbridge Wells Borough Council, Town Council, Town and Country Planning act 1971. Notice under section 28."
Fast forward to 2008, and horse riders around Wrotham were reading the April edition of the parish magazine with some concern – as it announced the parish council was going to ban horse riding in and around the village.
As April Fools go, it's perhaps not the most ridiculous, and a few were no doubt taken in, not least one Colin Stevens who called the Kent Messenger to express his dismay.
It wasn't until Mr Stevens bumped into the perpetrator, parish council vice-chairman Cllr Pete Gillin, in the Rose and Crown pub the following Monday that he discovered he'd been had.
"I fell for it hook, line and sinker," he said. "When I first thought they were planning to do this I was shocked and thought 'what are people going to do if they get away with this'. But when I found out it was a joke I laughed. There's no fool like an old fool."
Cllr Gillin explained he wrote a parish council meeting report every month for the magazine and admitted "they are not always the most riveting of events", adding: "April 1 was an opportunity to bring a little bit of light-hearted fun to the report. I hope that everyone took it in the spirit it was intended."
A few years later, over in Pembury, residents might have been left a little concerned over a report on Twitter, suggesting a wild boar had dug up a grenade.
The Kent Messenger put a positive spin on it, albeit not so positive if you were the wild boar in question.
"Wild Boar bolognaise anyone?" reported the paper. "If this grenade had gone off there would have been enough to feed the whole of Pembury for a week.
"Fortunately, this picture of a wild boar with a freshly unearthed grenade is a fake generated for April Fool’s day and posted on Twitter, with the message: 'PEMBURY: Wild boars digging for food have unearthed an old LIVE grenade. A 300m cordon is in place.'
"The image was first posted by ‘Ralf Polio’ whose name is an anagram of April Fool, who hadn’t tweeted before and hasn’t since and whose profile includes a calendar with a picture of a wild boar on April 1."
A Kent Police spokesman later said they take hoaxes very seriously and will prosecute if necessary, but added “in this instance the picture was obviously an April Fool and no one was taken in by it”.
But April Fools' Day isn't always about trying to strike the fear of God into people.
Fast forward to 2017 and visitors to The Forum shopping centre in Sittingbourne were greeted by the sight of an amazing archaeological discovery on April 1 – with a giant Roman sculpted face staring out from a hole in the shopping centre floor.
Cordoned off for extra realism the discovery was in fact the handiwork of Dean Tweedy from Marvellous Murals, who painted an illusion of a Roman excavation on the floor.
Other classic pranks from recent years have seen Leeds Castle rebranded, a theme park for pensioners planned in Swanscombe and miniature raincoats to protect garden gnomes on sale at Chatham Maritime.
And while it wasn't in April, an honorary mention must of course go to the great "Crabzilla" hoax of October 2014, when a picture emerged on the internet showing a giant crab lurking in the waters off Whitstable.
While most were sceptical of the image, some were taken in and the story went around the world; although it's questionable whether the image would have the same impact these days – perhaps a measure of how photo editing technology has become more accessible over the nine years since Crabzilla.
Earlier that same year, a genuine April Fool's had villagers in Preston near Canterbury genuinely wondering whether there had been a tragic drunken cycling accident in the village.
Emergency services were called after passers-by spotted a half-submerged bicycle, together with a can of lager and a pair of boots sticking out of Elmstone pond, and three police cars and an ambulance were sent to the scene.
Thankfully the bicycle, boots and lager were not accompanied by a body, but the seriously good April Fool was also branded a step too far, and the ambulance service – officially at least – didn't see the funny side.
Spokesman Rich Airey stated: “While we all enjoy an April Fool’s joke it is fair to say that this was a step too far which led to an ambulance not being available for a short time to attend potentially life-threatening calls in the area.”
Pictures from Sutton Valence in 2007 show it's perfectly possible to just have a bit of laugh without the involvement of the emergency services – that's presuming the lump hammer Natalie Boult was holding here is just a toy one.
The fun was part of Mike Dunn's celebrations at his antiques business, the Aladdin's Cave of Swan Barn, in Broad Street, Sutton Valence, where contests included the noisiest, silliest walk and the shortest, fattest legs.
Silly walks, of a kind, also seem to have been the theme one April 1 in Lenham, although an element of mystery surrounds exactly what was going on back in 2005.
The Kent Messenger archives revealed this picture of two Lenham chaps – John Philpott and right Alan Huggett – with an April Fool's poster for Lenham Square, but no trace of an article remains on the subject.
Headed with the EU flag, the notice claims to be "European Harmonisation Directive No. 040105" (note the suspiciously familiar number) and concerns "Right-hand adoption – Lenham Square".
The directive goes on to state new rules for the square which include:
"All pedestrians will be required to walk to the right of the walkway. A white line painted down the centre must not be crossed except in an emergency.
"Circulation round the square will be anti-clockwise. This will mean only certain crossing points can be used. These will be situated in Maidstone Road, Faversham Road and High Street.
"Shops located in the Square will have to adhere to the right-hand directive. All entrance door handles must be located on the right."
And it's signed: "Loof Lirpa", which might sound like a European official, but sounds more British when spelt backwards.
All of which sounds hilariously silly enough, but with no article to correspond with the picture, we have no way of knowing how the prank turned out.
Were Messrs Philpott and Huggett responsible, or did they just discover the poster?
And did anyone fall for it and start abiding by the new rules? Current and past parish council chairmen were unable to recall the prank, but perhaps someone out there is still holding on to the truth behind it, chuckling away to themselves every April Fool's Day.
Whether they're laughing or crying every anniversary of Brexit, we're unlikely to ever know.
More by this author
Chris Hunter