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Care home manager Vicki Viles has tears in her eyes as she describes getting a call from her son Billy, whose partner is expecting a baby, to say he has been diagnosed with coronavirus.
Vicki now not only spends her days praying the disease does not enter the care home, but also worrying about her daughter, who works at Tesco and now her son, who lies in pain at his London home.
The scale of deaths caused by coronavirus in care homes is only now coming to light, after the Government released the numbers of people dying in the community, rather than just in hospital, for the first time last week.
Figures provided by the Office for National Statistics show that care homes account for nearly a sixth of Covid-19 deaths in England and Wales.
In the county, up to April 17, 108 deaths in care homes were attributed to coronavirus.
At Cedardale Residential Home in Maidstone, managed by Vicki, one resident, who was manager at Aylesford Newsprint and was passionate about aeroplanes, died after catching the virus.
Two more male residents have died during the outbreak at Cedardale, but they were never tested and so the cause of death is not confirmed.
Another male in his eighties recovered after contracting coronavirus and four members of staff have tested positive, but are now back at work.
Ms Viles spoke to Kent Online about her staff's fears, what should have been done sooner and why her carers, who are paid minimum wage, deserve a pay rise.
Cedardale currently has more than 20 members of staff and 26 residents, most of whom have dementia.
Vicki is one of two managers, but the other, Wendy is working from home because of an underlying health condition.
Four weeks ago, when the first coronavirus case in the home was confirmed, staff were petrified.
The next day about 60 per cent of the workforce didn't come in, with many fearing they could catch the disease and spread it to their children.
Since then, staffing levels has stabilised but employees are still anxious.
Vicki, who has worked in the care industry for more than 30 years, said: "For the staff the scary bit is going home and seeing their families. One carer has got four children and one of her kids suffers from kidney failure.
"We are still coming to work everyday, we have five members of staff walking through the door every morning and we don't know if they are bringing it in."
"When the first resident died it was just heart breaking, It has been really hard, the girls have all put in extra hours to make sure the residents are okay, because they're not being visited by their families.
"I think that's the hardest bit, the families not being able to come in, but we are doing a bit of Facetime and sending photographs."
Despite staff's fear over catching the virus, when the hospital asked if one of the residents who had tested positive, could return to Cedardale for care, they agreed, implementing stringent infection control measures.
"This is their home. And as wonderful as the NHS is, the nurses can't give the level of one on one care as we can," Vicki said.
One resident who died at Cedardale during the pandemic passed away without any family nearby, as their relatives made what must have been a near-impossible decision not to enter the home because of a pre-existing condition.
The elderly have temperatures checked twice a day and for the last two weeks, any staff that develop symptoms can be tested at a local site.
Vicki is keen not to criticise the government's response, but says: "The testing just wasn't coming through at the beginning but it's coming through now."
Keeping two metres away from everyone in the care home is impossible.
Currently no residents at Cedardale have coronavirus, but this could be a problem if there is an outbreak.
"Residential homes aren't built for Covid-19, you have corridors that are four feet wide," she said.
Gavin Astor House, in Aylesford, where four residents died in less than a month and three more tested positive last week, have taken the precaution of keeping all residents in their rooms and shut the communal area.
This is to minimise the risk of disease spreading further.
Speaking to Kent Online, Will Campbell-Wroe, director of care and welfare at the Royal British Legion Industries, where the care home is based, said this was a hard decision, as socialising is important for residents.
Cedardale haven't gone this far yet.
"I don't have 26 supported living spaces. They've all got their own bedrooms but you can't confine people to their bedrooms unless they're unwell. Some who have dementia will walk about a lot... because they are reverting to their younger selves. The only way to stop them walking would be to lock them in their rooms.
"Yesterday we had a birthday party for a 102-year-old and sent picture to their family. We just try to carry on as normal," Vicki said.
'We are looking after people's families, it has been a very difficult time...'
In a sign that each care home's experience during the pandemic is different, Gavin Astor House has twice been within a week of running out of masks because of delays, where Cedardale has never had a problem, thanks to the county council, clinical commissioning group and donations from local masons.
But, Vicki says care homes would have received more support and recognition of their work, if the Government had published the numbers on Covid-19 care home deaths sooner.
Before the stats were published, the mum-of-two noticed that people had started taking social distancing less seriously. Hopefully, the alarming figures will change that.
The service carers provide, looking after people's most intimate and basic needs, was underestimated before the pandemic, Vicki says.
'We just keep going, everyone has kind of got a bit of acceptance...'
"They are paid the minimum wage and they do such a fantastic job. They have always gone under the radar, it has always been about the NHS and we are the ones that look after the elderly and frail."
She doesn't know whether carers will be treated differently when the pandemic is over, answering cautiously: "we will have to wait and see".
Vicki believes carers should be given a pay rise in recognition for their hard work, but even this is not so simple, as it potentially involve small care home providers, such as the one which runs Cedardale, hiking up prices and KCC upping funding.
Vicki does not know when she will next meet her son and her life now revolves around the large, Tudor-fronted building in Queen's road and the vulnerable people inside.
"We just keep going. Everyone has kind of got a bit of acceptance. Everything is just moving so fast and you just try as a manager to keep up with everything and you just make sure everybody feels supported and safe.
"We are not just looking after the residents, we are looking after staff and people's families. It has been a very difficult time."
You can watch KMTV's report on care homes in Kent and Vicki's interview from 5.30pm later today.
To read all the latest coronavirus news and guidance click here