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By Tom Bevan
The daughter of a bodyguard killed in Iraq says more should have been done for a “forgotten generation” of children who lost parents at war.
Mark Carman, from Maidstone, was protecting VIPs when he was killed 20 years ago during an explosion.
Like many of the more than 600 Brits who died in Iraq and Afghanistan, he left behind grieving young children who say they continue to struggle with the trauma of what happened.
Mark's daughter, Stephanie Carman, was 11 years old at the time, dancing away at a school disco when a police car arrived with her brother Craig to take her home to be given the news.
She said her life changed within an instant with no preparation for his death and no chance to say goodbye.
Mark died on May 24, 2004, aged 38, while protecting Bob Morgan, a senior government advisor, just 50 yards away from the US-led coalition headquarters in Baghdad.
Mr Morgan also died in the blast while Mark's colleague Matthew Symons survived with serious injuries.
Speaking publicly for the first time, Stephanie said: “I still feel like my dad was snatched away.
“The days and weeks after the news was mixed with utter grief, disbelief, upset and pressure on myself and my family with no real help outside our family and friends who were also suffering.
"It was an incredibly stressful situation. Being his only daughter and having been divorced from my mum, I was classed as his next of kin.”
As Stephanie was 11-years-old, her mum, Sue, acted on her behalf, but she said dealing with the aftermath has affected her for many years.
The security company Mark worked for said it would have been "inappropriate" to speak to an 11-year-old about what happened and they were not "authorised" to speak to her mum and his ex-wife.
However, Stephanie said she felt sidelined and feels she - and other children whose parents died during conflicts - should have been more involved.
The 31-year-old added: "Families of military and armed forces are often forgotten. We suffer in their efforts to help protect our country. We are left with nothing.
"I still feel quite bitter about the past and feel I was undermined by figures of authority at the time. A lot of decisions were made around me. If it happened at the age I am now it would have been a very different story.
"This man was my dad. I should have had more say, but I was looked over.
“What can you realistically do when you are 11 years old in this situation?”
The mum-of-one claims there was also no follow-up support and wants to highlight the lack of help available saying there needs to be more in place for shock deaths such as counselling.
Mark was working for Control Risks Group, a London-based company based, under contract from the Foreign Office and had previously looked after the likes of Dale Winton and the Princess of India.
He was just days away from returning following a three-month deployment.
“I still feel like my dad was snatched away…”
Stephanie, from Cheshire, said the actual cause of the explosion is still not known but was told it could have been due to driving over an improvised explosive device (IED) or by someone firing at the car.
Control Risks confirmed Mark was on a contract from the UK Foreign and Commonwealth Office, as it was called at the time.
A spokesperson said due to her age it was “inappropriate” to speak to her directly and they did not have permission to speak with her mum.
They added: "This was the context in which Stephanie and her mother did not receive the level of consultation they might have expected regarding the circumstances of Mark’s death."
Regarding the circumstances of Mark’s death, Control Risks acknowledged there was "indeed a lack of absolute clarity in the immediate aftermath."
The spokesperson added: "Any investigations following an explosion, injury or death are very complex and challenging and this was hindered by there being no credible police force in operation.
"The US Authorities (who were administering the area) assisted, at our request, and concluded that an IED was the most likely cause of Mark and Bob Morgan’s tragic deaths.
“Recently, she has asked questions about the circumstances of Mark’s death and we are actively trying to make contact with those who were working alongside her father 20 years ago to bring her more answers.
"Mark was a really valued member of our team and his death was a terrible tragedy.
"Our Iraqi headquarters was renamed Camp Carman and later, The Carman Business Centre in his honour. At every Remembrance Service, he is honoured by our team in Iraq and will not be forgotten."
The Foreign Office said it would not comment on individual cases but added that its consular staff are available 24/7, 365 days a year and support over 20,000 British nationals a year.