A father-of-two from Maidstone says it is impossible for him to return to his home country of Nigeria after coming out as gay.

Alex Gede moved to the UK in 2007 to better his life. He got married and had children, but two years ago started living his truth as an openly gay man.

Alex Gede explains why Nigeria is too dangerous for him to return

LGBTQ+ people in Nigeria face a lot of challenges, with their rights not recognised and no legal protection against discrimination.

In the secular southern states, gay men and women face up to 14 years imprisonment.

The northern states have adopted Shari'a law where the punishment is death by stoning.

Since coming out, Alex's family have cut all ties and he has been unable to return home due to the dangers he would face.

Alex said: "So most people that are gay in Nigeria, like myself, kept it to myself and it was very secretive.

"You try to make sure nothing even suggests that you are gay.

"So that's why most people live their lives in Nigeria very underground and secretive.

"Nigeria is a very religious place in terms of Christianity, and in terms of the social pressure as well.

"It's very difficult for anyone to live their life because it's literally dangerous everywhere. So it's very, very difficult."

He continued: "Even if you're based outside of Nigeria, you have strong family ties and it's going to affect you back home.

"I didn't intend to actually come out because of the pressures of getting married and having a family.

"It was only after five years into my marriage that I started thinking things over and could not cope with the idea of not living my truth.

"Now that I'm out, no one from Nigeria speaks to me anymore - most of my family have cut ties with me.

"I am scared of visiting the country because I'm very open on social media and stuff like that, so going to Nigeria is really dangerous."

For his children, eight-year-old PJ and Tari, 11, their dad coming out as gay has been an easy adjustment.

Alex explained: "They were so understanding, I didn't need to explain to them twice.

"I didn't need to try and justify anything to them.

"I'm still their dad and that is the most important thing to them - nothing else matters.

"Even when I tell them about the discrimination I've gone through, they just feel sad for me and they always just try and make sure that I'm happy."

Alex also remains good friends with his ex-wife, Charell, to whom he was married for eight years.

She discovered he was gay through some text messages, although they remained married for two years after that before deciding to go their separate ways.

Charell said: "I had an inkling of what the deal was beforehand, but there's a difference between knowing and it actually happening. It was quite difficult for various reasons.

"It was a bit of a shock to find out that someone you've been with for a number of years has gone completely opposite to what you were used to."

The pair spend Christmas together with the children and she remains one of his biggest supporters.

Alex hopes that their story will stop the stigma surrounding gay men who chose to marry and have families before coming out.

He added: "I think a lot of people shame those who got married even when they knew about their sexuality.

"I think if you've never been in that situation you will never understand why or what led to it.

"For me, my ex-wife was the very first lady I fell in love with. I was lucky because I met someone I loved enough to have a family with and to be as straight as I could be.

"If you don't know the story, then you always want to think it was for selfish reasons but that is not the case - acceptance is a big thing as well."

Since moving to Maidstone, Alex has been successful in the fitness world, as well as launching an underwear company, Club Seven Menswear. He also runs an online group for the LGBTQ+ community in Kent.

Although he says it was a relief to move to the UK and see that he could live as an openly gay man and find happiness, there have still been moments of discrimination.

He said: "Two years ago my ex-boyfriend and I tried going to a club in Maidstone for the first time.

"There were people sitting down who were secretly throwing empty bottles and glasses at us and we had to walk out.

"I think that is the first and last time I've ever gone to any club in Maidstone - if I want to go out, I always go to London for the gay bars."

Following years of hiding, Alex encourages anyone who can, to come out and live their true life.

He explained: "If your life is at stake, I know first-hand that you have to be reasonable and manage your expectations.

"But if you are able to, I always advise everyone to live their truth because it takes so much weight off your shoulders.

"It just allows you to be the person you want to be instead of looking back every second making sure you don't have the mannerisms that would tell someone you're gay."

"If you understand the story behind every individual, you learn to treat people differently and you will understand where they're coming from."