This is a tricky one as there’s an element of smoke and mirrors going on at the Park Gate Inn on Ashford Road.

It aspires to be a cosy country tavern you might magically discover on a cold, windswept winter evening, one where the warmth of the fire and the welcome drags you over the threshold so you can enjoy hearty, home-cooked pub grub.

The trouble is, scratch the surface and all the signs are this is a chain-owned, repurposed period building serving mass-produced meals.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s okay and I’m sure the majority of Vintage Inns are equally adequate, presumably all offering much the same standardised menu and drinks.

The side entrance, from a car park shared with golfers, has an archway leading to steps down into a small entrance hall but I walked around the front, which is fairly close to the road, and gives the impression of the front door to a cottage.

In the hallway was a large pile of logs and, sure enough, there was an open fire inside.

Mrs SD had already popped to the loo, so I ordered up her usual large NZ Sav Blanc, and as soon as she returned, wouldn’t you know it, she’d have “preferred a Malbec!”

Looking at the pumps my order was easy, a pint of Sussex Best from Harvey’s Brewery and the barman served our drinks with a smile.

Just about everywhere here is set for dining but there is a small area of the building set aside as a bar and this has got an interesting beamed ceiling, a number of winged chairs and low-set tables. We were shown into a dining area.

Looking through the menu we both opted for sausage and mash at a total of £28.50 and didn’t have to wait long for them to be delivered.

Now, we both like our sausages fairly well browned, but when these arrived they were as black as your hat with a taste to match. Arriving in minutes there’s no way they could have been cooked from raw so I can only assume someone took their eye of the re-heating pan.

Sadly, apart from incinerating the bangers, they must also have slipped with the sugar as the caramelised onions in the gravy were sweet enough to make you wince.

Unlike the cheery barman, our waitress managed to restrict herself to words in single figures while presenting both our food and drinks and her facial expression didn’t even flicker.

By comparison, the fellow sat at the table opposite was far more animated, the object of his reaction being the quality of his steak, which he, fairly loudly, declared was ‘the worst he’d had’.

The waitress still showed no reaction but he did immediately follow her back to the till to debate the bill – I’m unaware of the final outcome but I was interested enough to glance at his leftovers as we made our way to pay.

The building itself is interesting and looks good but when it comes down to it I’d say it fails to deliver and, if anything, flatters to deceive. Mrs SD, who had, by now, got a Malbec in her hand, said she’d describe it as ‘all mouth and no trousers’.

There’s no pool table, no dartboard, no jukebox and no background music although there was a large modern, electronic fruit machine blinking away in one corner of the bar-style area.

By way of entertainment there are quite a large number of interesting historic photographs dotted around the walls featuring buildings in the villages of Hollingbourne and Leeds from a bygone age.

It was unsurprisingly unoccupied, but I should mention that there is also a large garden area at the side of The Park Gate with a reasonably-sized paved area containing a stack of wooden tables and chairs.

Of course there are bound to be a number of locals and some passers-by who decide The Park Gate Inn does provide what they are looking for and, to be fair, there did seem to be several groups who were enjoying their meals, but for me it didn’t provide us with any reason to make a return visit.

Perhaps if we’d chosen to go the burger or pizza route we wouldn’t have been so disappointed but, particularly given the prices charged, I’d take some convincing it delivers value for money.

The barman was helpful and cheerful and the drinks were fine, the food was poor and the waitress incapable of cracking a smile, some of the photos on the wall are interesting and the building displays signs of it history but overall it scores below par and could do much, much better.

Park Gate Inn, Ashford Road, Hollingbourne, Maidstone ME17 1PG

Décor: A look at the historic photos shows this place has a proud history and Vintage Inns (owned by M&B) has gone to considerable lengths to deliver a full, rustic overhaul which has retained many interesting features. ****

Drink: The Harvey’s Sussex Best was a middling example and the lager exactly what you’d expect. Mrs SD described each of her glasses of wine as ‘okay’. ***

Price: A portion of sausage and mash was £14.25, a pint of Harvey’s Sussex Best was £5.55 and an Estrella £6.10. A large Ned Sauvignon Blanc was £10.30 – fortunately a Silverland Malbec was £8.35. **

Food: Looking around some diners seemed reasonably happy with their food but our sausage and mash was a huge disappointment and our nearest neighbour felt even more let down by his steak. *

Staff: The barman, he may have been the manager on the day, was pleasant enough and poured a reasonable pint, but our waitress gave the distinct impression she’d rather not have been there. **

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