Distressing stories of violence and intimidation against women and girls have been shared by female councillors - often directly from their own experiences - as part of moves to improve safety.

Cllr Maureen Cleator (Lab), who was chairing the debate at Maidstone council, said she had been attacked three times as a young woman - the first when she was just 14.

Councillors were discussing a motion submitted by Cllr Hilary Baldock-Jenkins (Lab) calling on the council to do more to help women feel safe on the streets and in their homes.

Cllr Allison Sweetman (Green) recalled how, when she was at school, a boy had undone her bra strap in class for which she got in trouble for reporting him. Later he attacked her.

She recalled how she had been flashed at on several occasions.

She said: “It affected me greatly. I was about 14 at the time and I became too frightened to go out to walk my dog.

“I also suffered in the workplace. When I was about 17, an older colleague used to push himself up against me and say things.

“I had it from a boss who thought it was funny to say sexual innuendos to me because it embarrassed me.”

Cllr Grace Couch (Green) said she would not relate her own experiences, because they were too personal, but also because they were too unremarkable, which she described as an unfortunate testament to how normalised such violence had become.

Instead, she quoted two incidents that had happened in her own ward of Yalding in the past couple of weeks, where a man had stopped by a bus stop early in the morning and harassed school girls waiting there, and another when a girl on a bus was harassed by a man who took inappropriate photos of her.

Cllr Couch said she had sent a poll out to her female friends, family and former classmates asking whether they had ever experienced verbal or physical abuse on a night out.

Every one of the 52 women who responded said yes.

Many went on to detail stories of being catcalled while walking through Maidstone or feeling unsafe in poorly lit streets at night.

Cllr Claire Kehily (Green) said she wanted to address “the gentlemen in the room.”

She said: “This may be something you don’t fully understand or something you feel excluded from.

“Speak to your wives, your girlfriends, your sisters, your mothers, your daughters, and ask them if when they get out of their car at night they don’t automatically put their car keys between their fingers walking 20ft to their front door in case someone jumps out on them.

“Ask them how many times they’ve crossed the road because they think the men behind them are potentially going to attack them.

“Ask them if they’ve phoned someone when they are walking alone - as I do when walking down to the Archbishops’ Palace car park - or even more shockingly, ask them if they have pretended to phone because they feel so unsafe.”

Some male councillors clearly did understand the problem.

Cllr Stephen Thompson (Green) said he had lost count of the number of times his wife had come home to say that while she was walking alone up the Tonbridge Road somebody had slowed their car, wound down the window and shouted at her.

Officers presented members of the council’s housing and community cohesion policy advisory committee with a report on the issue and on the progress already made in tackling violence against women and girls.

Community partnership manager Martyn Jeynes said that the tragic murders of Sarah Everard from South London and PCSO Julia James from Folkestone had had a profound impact on public consciousness and policy.

Some of the data was encouraging.

In Maidstone, the number of reported incidents of violence against women and girls between November 2022 to October 2023 was 3,703, which was a 9% reduction from the previous year (4,053).

Maidstone had ranked the third-highest borough in Kent by numbers, but only the sixth-highest in Kent once the population data was used to normalise the data.

The incidents of domestic abuse - which would also include abuse by women on men - had fallen by 10% from 2022 to 2023, again placing Maidstone third highest by the number of incidents, but fifth highest in Kent by average population.

The number of incidents of women’s drinks being spiked had also declined from 35 in May to November 2023 to 19 in May to November 2024.

Cllr Dan Wilkinson (Lab) said that although the declines were welcome more still had to be done to educate men and boys.

He said that 3,703 incidents of violence was still “a horrific number”.

The committee voted unanimously to ask the council’s cabinet members to consider committing to a number of actions.

They included developing a broader strategy to curtail violence against women and girls with public awareness campaigns and bystander training to challenge problematic behaviours, attitudes, and beliefs, using the Safer Maidstone Partnership and other partners.

Also, in collaboration with the business group One Maidstone and Kent Police, to develop a Night-Time Safety Charter for Maidstone.

They also want the council to use its licensing powers to improve women’s safety when using taxis.

And they asked the authority make women's safety central to any future consideration of town centre planning, by the use of lighting, CCTV, and natural surveillance to make the streets safer.

They also suggested that the council pursue White Ribbon accreditation. White Ribbon UK is a charity seeking to prevent violence against women and girls by engaging with men and boys to change their attitudes.

The committee’s final recommendation was that progress be reported back in April next year.

The motion will be considered by the cabinet on Wednesday, December 18.

The committee may well find themselves pushing on an open door.

Cllr Dave Naghi (Lib Dem) is the cabinet member responsible for social cohesion and he was in the chamber listening to the debate.

He said: “The experiences of the female councillors were very concerning, but not surprising.

“If you ask any woman, they will have a similar story to tell.

“All violence against women is completely wrong.

“Maidstone council has been very good at addressing this issue in the past, but of course we must look to see what more we can do.”

Cllr Hilary Jenkins-Baldock, who had originally introduced her motion to a meeting of the full council the week before - where it had not been discussed through lack of time - sent her apologies and was not at the committee meeting to hear the debate.