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A pub boss has hit back at a string of negative comments left on TripAdvisor by jilted customers, defending his chef's Yorkshire puddings and saying burnt chips never leave the kitchen.
The man at the helm of The King and Queen pub and restaurant in East Malling has responded to online comments left by dissatisfied diners on the travel review site, some of whom described it as "ludicrously over-rated”.
Managing director Steve Catchpole - who runs the pub in New Road with his wife - advised one customer to take a trip to Beefeater after she left a one-star review on the site about her husband's steak meal.
Writing on the online review site, Mr Catchpole said: "Thank you for your review, although I really don't know what you set out to achieve.
"If you had bothered to read the steak menu board which is very prominently displayed at the end of the bar, you would have noticed that what is advertised is exactly what your husband received.
"We do sell side salads and vegetables but you didn't order any of these.
"If you want the full Steak Dianne treatment with onion rings and peas, then may I suggest a trip to a la Beefeater."
Customers can rate the food, service, value and atmosphere of the establishment from 'Excellent' to 'Terrible'.
The King and Queen has a 4.5 star rating overall and has been awarded the highest rank by 478 visitors in total - compared to 18 'Terrible' reviews.
The pub landlord added: "I will also stake (see what I did there?) my professional reputation on the fact that neither you, or your husband, had burnt anything.
"My chef's pride themselves on their presentation of food and there is absolutely no way would burnt chips or potatoes ever leave my kitchen.
"It's really bizarre that you couldn't have brought all of this up whilst you was still on the premises, we would have listened and changed things, but you didn't give us a chance, you just decided to become a keyboard warrior instead.
"My conclusion is that we can't and probably never will meet your expectations so to avoid all future disappointment it's highly advisable that you seek your steak and chips elsewhere.
"If, however, you do decide to come back again, we won't hold the review against you and our team will welcome you back with open arms."
Another customer who claimed the pub is "ludicrously over-rated” was also met with a blunt but honest response from the landlord.
The reviewer - which focused on the scant portion of beef and overcooked vegetables - also expressed disappointment of the quality of the Yorkshire puddings, stating that there was "no sign of a homemade, over-risen hearty rustic pud' but instead he was served a 'flaccid, pasty, Aunt Bessie frozen number".
Mr Catchpole said: "Firstly your title of 'Ludicrously over-rated' is a little unfair.
"The reason I say that is because you gave us no chance to rectify your afternoon whilst you was still in our venue but instead you chose to leave the pub and go home and write something that we are effectively unable to defend.
"Three thick slices of beef is hardly a scant portion.
"In respect of the Yorkies, these categorically are not Aunt Bessies.
"They're not homemade and the reason is simply because we have a very small kitchen, demand for roast dinners is high and oven space is fought over by meat and potatoes (which we consider to be the most important part of the roast experience).
"That said; as a response to your review, our head chef is going to have a go at juggling the oven time to see if we can cook off some home grown Yorkshires. Watch this space!"
Mr Catchpole declined to comment further.
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