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Family of Rochester man who died after asthma attack raising money for Sittingbourne men’s mental health charity

By: Keely Greenwood kgreenwood@thekmgroup.co.uk

Published: 05:00, 19 April 2024

Updated: 12:27, 19 April 2024

Tributes have been paid to a “genuine” and “caring” 37-year-old who died hours after a severe asthma attack.

Gym-lover Luke Foster, known as “Big Man” by his friends and Pukey while growing up, was found unresponsive by his partner Ellie Tribe.

Luke Foster with long-term partner Ellie. Photo credit: Lisa Forbes

The 31-year-old, who lived with Luke in the Esplanade, Rochester, is now raising money for a mental health charity in his memory in the hope his legacy will be to change other people’s lives for the better.

Ellie supported him during his own struggles, as he spent parts of his life battling anxiety and depression, and wants to help an organisation she feels he would have benefited from in Sittingbourne.

Luke, who had severe hayfever, passed away hours after an asthma attack. Paramedics had been called on March 11 and put him on a nebuliser to stabilise his breathing.

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However, he passed away in the late afternoon of March 12.

It is thought he might have been suffering from a chest infection in the days leading up to his death, but a coroner is still investigating the exact circumstances.

His sister Lisa Forbes, 45, said: “He had a great sense of humour and was incredibly intelligent with an unrivalled general knowledge. He was always the go-to when choosing a quiz team.”

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Luke Foster enjoying a snorkelling trip on holiday. Photo credit: Lisa Forbes

While Luke and Ellie did not want children, Lisa said he was great with hers - Hayden and Aria.

“Luke was always good around kids,” she said. “Whether it was face painting or playing Jenga he always made time to play when he visited.”

“Luke always said that he saw a lot of himself in Hayden and gave advice on how to approach him and what not to do, which has been invaluable advice to this day.”

She said her younger brother has been described as “a very genuine and caring man by friends and acquaintances”.

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His life-long best friend Matthew Richardson, 40, said “Luke was always willing to offer advice or help if someone was in need.

“He had time for everyone. He didn't just phone it in either; he really went into depth and if needed, would help research just to make sure he was correct in what he was saying.”

Gym-loving Luke Foster was called "Big Man" by his friends and Pukey while growing up. Picture: Lisa Forbes
Luke loved playing with his family. Photo credit: Lisa Forbes

Luke, who also had two older brothers Steve and Daren, attended Thomas Aveling School in Rochester before heading to London to work as a junior trader.

He later found a new path and became an officer at the Medway Secure Training Centre at HM Prison, Rochester, where he met Ellie more than eight years ago.

Luke was diagnosed with anxiety, depression and attention deficit disorder in his twenties.

As a result, Lisa said the family wanted to set up a fundraiser to collect donations towards the Sittingbourne-based MenTalk Health charity to which Ellie has a strong connection.

“You need to keep going,” she told KentOnline. “There is light at the end of the tunnel and Luke did get through.”

“When he was in a good place he wouldn’t seek help. However he wouldn’t seek help when at his worst either.”

"My advice is that even if you are in a good place, just go and seek help.”

Luke and sister Lisa. Picture: Lisa Forbes
Luke was a typical computer-loving schoolboy. Picture: Lisa Forbes

Lisa added: “Even though in recent years Luke was in a much better place and enjoying holidays and his life with Ellie, Luke unfortunately struggled with his focus and mental health growing up.

“Because he couldn’t deal with his emotions and issues, he found it impossible to talk to friends or family about them.”

She explained how Luke trained as a personal trainer to help cope with his inner turmoil.

“Luke used the gym as his way of helping his mindset, but he could have benefited from more support had he known there was more available.”

Mum, Tina, 64, said: “He never found anyone who he felt he could talk to or was able to open up to about anything and I believe talking is the best kind of therapy.”

“Hopefully with awareness of this charity, more men will seek and find the help to ‘talk’ they desperately need.”

“It will be some comfort to us to know that his legacy could potentially help change lots of lives for the better.”

Jason Firmager set up MenTalk Health in Sittingbourne. Photo credit: Jason Firmager

Luke’s family is asking for donations instead of flowers to help MenTalk Health, which is run by unpaid volunteers and relies purely on the generosity of the community.

Its founder Jason Firmager said: “I recently learned about the tragic loss of Luke's life.

“Luke was undeniably a resilient and intelligent individual who faced his mental health struggles with bravery and determination.

“Societal perceptions have often deterred proud and intelligent men like Luke from seeking help, fearing the stigma associated with mental health discussions and the potential weaponisation of their vulnerabilities.”

To donate, click the link here.

Since setting up the charity 14 months ago, Jason has witnessed 18 cases of suicides being averted and more than 300 men benefiting from its services.

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