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The question of what to do with the drunken sailor was posed when a sea captain who was sozzled while in charge of his ship appeared in court.
In the famous shanty suggestions included putting him in a long boat till he was sober, putting him in scuppers with a hosepipe on him and scraping the hair off his chest with a hoop-iron razor.
But in the case of Ronald Seferas, who caused damage in his drunken state at Chatham Docks - it was simply fine him £300, or face one day in the slammer.
The 43-year-old Albanian had admitted being master of a ship being drunk in charge under the Railways and Safety Act 2003.
Maidstone Crown Court heard that pilot Alan Hooper went onto Seferas’ ship The River Gregli on the afternoon of January 14 this year to help him manoeuvre it.
Prosecutor Ian Foinette said the main engines were engaged and the boat prepared to leave the basin.
Mr Hooper gave instructions to swing into the north lock, but instead he veered to the south.
“He seemed to carry on as he pleased and was dismissive of the pilot’s instructions,” said Mr Foinette. “Mr Hooper repeated the instructions but there was no response.
“He described him as being in an almost trance-like state. The ship was drifting towards what is known as The Bull’s Tail.
“Because there was a westerly wind blowing there was no hope of recovery and the ship hit a moored boat and part of the south lock entrance.”
As the collision happened, Seferas threw his arms in the air and exclaimed: “This wind! I can’t get into the lock.”
Mr Hooper told the captain to secure the vessel and then jumped ship and called the police.
Seferas was arrested and when breathalysed was found to be three times the legal driving limit.
Imposing the fine, Recorder Jason Dunn-Shaw allowed 21 days to pay.