Two people have praised the “life-changing” support they received from a charity after both losing parents at a young age – but say such help needs to be more available.

Holding on Letting Go (HOLG), based in Rochester, has helped thousands of children grieve and process the loss of a loved one over the past 25 years.

One of those was Joe Bass from Snodland, who was just five when his mum, Melanie, died.

She had been diagnosed with stage three breast cancer in 1999.

Melanie worked as a chef before she became a full-time mum to Joe and his older siblings, Sam and Rosie.

“I think we noticed her getting ill,” the 25-year-old said.

“She lost her hair so I mostly remember it being short and grey, but my siblings can remember her with long blonde hair.

“People told me she was sick, but there was reassurance that she was fighting and was determined to get better.

“No one had really mentioned the possibility of her dying.”

After chemotherapy and radiotherapy, Melanie went into remission.

However in 2002, doctors found brain tumours and she was given a terminal diagnosis.

She was only 44 when she died on July 18, 2003.

“I understood she was gone, but I think it felt like you could have done something to help,” he explained.

“Even that young, you are acutely aware of how big a part is missing.

“We all grieved in different ways. There was a bit of loneliness – I felt isolated and sad all the time.

“It still comes in waves, you may feel fine and then it just hits you again.”

He added: “Looking back on my five-year-old self, I’d say don’t be afraid to talk about mum.

“It’s okay to miss her, it’s really painful but it’s okay to feel that.”

Joe attended a HOLG bereavement weekend programme with his siblings a couple of months after his mum’s passing.

The charity was founded in 1998 by a group of volunteers made up of counsellors, social workers and other professionals working in palliative care.

They were frequently asked by families where to go for child bereavement support, but there wasn’t any available.

Their name, Holding on Letting Go, stems from the work they do – hold onto the precious memories and let go of the sad ones.

Grief support feels a bit like a postcode lottery

Child bereavement is not funded by the government and the charity relies solely on donations from fundraisers, corporate supporters and volunteers.

As well as the weekend programmes, they also have a bereavement café and offer support for parents/carers.

Now a masters architecture student at the University of Sheffield, Joe believes he was extremely lucky to have been a part of HOLG.

He said: “Grief support feels a bit like a postcode lottery.

“It’s shocking that there is not more universal help for children.

“It’s often up to the parent, carer or school and it can still feel like a taboo.

“HOLG does a fantastic job though.

“My siblings and I were all at different developmental stages, but they put so much work into tailoring their support towards the ages of the children, and the type of death they’ve experienced.”

Kate Trevelyan from Rainham is a trustee for the charity and says cost is a big issue.

“There isn’t enough support for grieving families on a national level,” the 34-year-old said.

“It comes down to funding and people’s ability to talk about it comfortably – many are worried about upsetting others.

“It’s a hard one to tackle.”

Kate became a volunteer when she was 22 after going through the HOLG programme at 14.

Her mum, Janet, suddenly died of cancer in May 2003.

The family believes it started in her stomach and then spread to the rest of her body. She was just 45-years-old.

“We didn’t know that she had it at the time,” Kate explained. “She kept a lot of it a secret from us.

“She went into hospital and within a week or so sadly died. It was all very quick.

“I think she was trying to protect us – I would say she probably knew for about four or five months.”

Grief in her teenage years had a profound impact on Kate. She added: “You 100% grow up quicker.

“As a daughter losing her mother, it’s like losing a best friend.

“Between me and my sisters, we automatically became each others mother.”

After struggling to process her mum’s death, Kate was referred to HOLG through a teacher at her school.

Like Joe, she also attended a bereavement weekend session, which she says changed her life.

She added: “I probably had a lot of anger when I was a kid.

“As I’ve got older, I’ve learnt to respect that she did what she did for a reason.”

Holding on Letting Go is celebrating 25 years this month.

They are asking businesses and members of the public to consider donating time or funds this year to support their important work.

If you want to find out more, click here.

The charity also held a silver ball for friends, families and supporters at Priestfield Stadium last Friday (September 22) to celebrate.