“Cut off your head, scoop out the brains, fill it full of straw and sew it back again…”

Forget Christmas carols, hillbilly vegetable psycho rockin’ blues is the best kind of music to get the festive celebrations in full swing – preferably performed by a gang of terrifying sack-faced scarecrows.

Thee Scarecrows, a spin-off from long-running Kent hillbilly rockers Thee Waltons, will be belting out some hay-headed harmonies at The Eagle Tavern in Rochester High Street tonight for a special Christmas extravaganza.

Formed in 1986, Thee Waltons created havoc until 1996 with their unique blend of twisted hillbilly rock‘n’roll, touring the country and playing with the likes of Screaming Lord Sutch, The Damned, King Kurt, The Meteors, The Highliners, Slade and even Showaddywaddy – as well as releasing three albums.

Thee Scarecrows pick up where Thee Waltons left off, and they describe their story enigmatically on their Facebook page…

“Left to stand alone in the fields of Walton Farm protecting the crops from varmints and birds, Thee Scarecrows pulled up their stakes and shuffled into Walton Ranch.

“They found the place empty except for some ramshackle musical instruments left behind by Thee boys before they mysteriously disappeared.

“Thee Scarecrows fumbled with the instruments using their poorly-formed straw hands.

“From this they created a primitive rock ‘n’ roll rhythm that scared away all the varmints in the fields far better than those straw men ever managed standing out there hooked on stakes.

“The straw flew and the windows rattled as Thee Scarecrows Blues was born and those lonely straw-filled men waited for Thee Waltons to return.”

The gig starts at 8pm.