Gillingham interim boss Keith Millen is determined to clear his name after being sent off last weekend.

Millen picked up a red card for what referee Charles Breakspear felt was a deliberate trip on Walsall forward Tom Knowles, who had come to the edge of the technical area to take a quick throw.

More: “The perfect game” for Gills as they look to bounce back

It was a red card that had big implications, leaving Millen unable to watch the rest of the game, forced to sit and listen to commentary from one of his own coaches after Walsall’s WiFi signal wasn’t good enough to get a live stream.

The interim boss described the second half at Walsall as “probably the worst 45 minutes of my football career.”

While Millen sat and listened, the Gills team went from playing okay to shipping two goals before the break and losing the game 4-1.

Football League rules meant he couldn’t speak to the media afterwards but got his chance on Thursday to put over his side of events, a day after the FA issued him with a charge for misconduct, which could carry a touchline ban and a fine.

He said: “It was probably the worst feeling I have had when I was sitting underneath the stand being helpless really. It still hurts me now that I wasn’t able to be there for the players and I apologised to them afterwards. I felt like I had let them down.

“You want to be on the touchline with the team, that hurt more than anything, that I wasn’t able to be there for them

“When you see the incident, you can see I made contact with the ball and not the player. In my head I am clear with what I have done.

“We are going to appeal. We have got video evidence that I don’t touch the player. All I did was stop the ball, which I have done for the last 20 years. If the ball comes near me in the technical area, as with most managers, I either catch it or control it or kick it away. In that split second I was just thinking about stopping the ball.

“I want to clear my name. It doesn’t sit well with me, this misconduct charge looming over me. Hopefully they will come to the right decision and it can be cleared.

“It doesn’t feel good, for me as a person and in my career, nothing like this has ever really happened to me before.”

Millen admitted he wasn’t at first aware that he couldn’t watch the game from the stands after his 28th-minute red card, hoping initially he could sit and watch from behind the dugout.

But he was led away from the action and it got worse when the home club were unable to provide an internet connection.

“It was a nightmare,” he recalled. “Walsall kept moving us around the stadium, telling us the WiFi would be okay in certain rooms. It wasn’t.

“That was disappointing, to not be able to even watch the game.

“I was on the mic and I asked one of the coaches to try and commentate on what was happening, but put it like this, he won’t be a commentator in his future life!

“That was really tough. I didn’t know the rule had come in, you can’t even be in a box or anywhere that looks onto the pitch.

“Walsall kept saying, try this WiFi, try another WiFi. You would think they would have had some signal.

“Not seeing the second half was probably the worst 45 minutes I have actually had in my career.”

Listening in, the Gills endured a tough afternoon.

Millen, who has now watched the game back, said: “You go from dominating the game for 30 minutes to all of a sudden being down and the two goals (conceded first half) are poor from our point of view.

“We had men in good positions, behind the ball, it’s not like we gave the ball away and left ourselves wide open. The manner of the two goals was really disappointing.

“Half-time was difficult, I had to clear my head with what has happened to me but also clear their heads. That wasn’t a nice position to be put in, for myself and the players.

“Second half we conceded another poor goal, from the middle the pitch. When we score we had a good spell at 3-1 and could have got back on level terms and we didn’t take them. The fourth is where we are open.

“It is a terrible scoreline, whatever way you look at it, to concede four goals. It isn’t like this team, it’s a team based on being hard to beat, not letting the opposition have many chances, that is something I have to look at.”

The post-match press conference at Walsall was taken by youth boss Mark Moss, who is helping out on first team duties while the club seek a new permanent manager. Millen had to keep his thoughts to himself on the day.

He added: “When they said I couldn’t do the press after the game I was thinking they would handcuff me and march me to the coach!

“It wasn’t a good feeling, it was a tough weekend for me to deal with, you get a lot of stick from people when they first see the video, saying ‘oh he’s tripped him’, but when you break it down you can see I didn’t.”

Millen is free to take his place in the technical area this Saturday as no decision has been made on the FA charge, with the coach having until tomorrow (Friday) to submit his comments, along with the video evidence.