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Gillingham striker Oli Hawkins admits it’s been tough to keep his cool with defenders hanging off him every match.
The big Gills striker rarely gets a decision from the officials in his favour and that’s not been a surprise to the player who previously played centre-half for Mansfield Town, enabling him to see difference in decision-making at either end of the pitch.
He said: “I know the advantage always lies with the centre-half. Because I am tall, defenders feel like they have to grab me, there will be games when referees just don’t give you any decisions and it looks like a really tough job for me, and it has been in the last few weeks.
“Not many people play both positions but 100% I know you get more lenience. The advantage lies with the centre-half and I do feel like most games I come off unlucky.
“I probably do get frustrated a lot, knowing ‘here we go again’, but I tend not to throw my arms around a lot and moan, because it doesn’t look great. As soon as I do get fouled and it’s not given I just move onto the next one, then the next one and think maybe I will get the next one. It is hard to keep the frustration in really, I do get frustrated, anyone would, but I just have to get on with it and do what I can.
“I do find it out very quickly in a game what kind of referee I might be dealing with, maybe sometimes I might have to change onto a different defender, but mostly in this league and the way we play and the type of striker I am, every defender, every person I go near are going to want to grab me just because of my size. They are a afraid, they don’t want to give me a free header, so they are always going to try that little bit harder against me.
“It is something I just have to get on with and deal with. I can’t really change my game too much, I am not going to become quick and run in behind a lot, I have to stick at what I do best but just know I might not get a lot of decisions.
“I am so used to it, I have been doing it since I was 17-18, being a tall striker, having defenders want to win headers, grab me, doing what they can to beat me.
“At Barrow (last Saturday), when I came on for 45 minutes, within 10 seconds of being on the pitch there is a defender grabbing me and trying to pull me down and I have to smile, get on with it and laugh and battle away.”
The focus on Hawkins can help his team-mates, however. His strike partner Tom Nichols has benefited from set-pieces while defenders have been preoccupied with the big-man.
He said: “I am aware that I might take two defenders out of the game and allow space for other players and maybe set-pieces where their strongest defender who can head it might mark me really tight and that allows someone like Conor Masterson or Robbie (McKenzie) or Max (Ehmer) to head it. My job is very hands on, very difficult but there is a lot of joy out of it as well.
“Nico is brilliant at what he does, a great striker in the box, a fox in the box, always there, he is always dangerous.”
Hawkins has two goals to his name this season - it should have been three when he had a goal disallowed in the win over Crewe.
While strikers are usually judged on their goals - he feels he brings so much more to the team.
He said: “Maybe not a lot of people see it, but if you sign me or someone like me, don’t just rely on goals, they will do a lot more off the ball and create space for other people.
“I like to think my job is not just goals, it is an all-round game.”
On that disallowed goal, he said: “It goes that way sometimes, the one time I have made the least contact with someone or least fouled, the referee gives a foul against me and I hardly touched him!
“I know when I do play upfront there will be chances for me, I am not going to be scoring 25-30 but I will be doing my utmost to be getting on the end of crosses and trying to get as many as I can.”
Gillingham have goals spread through the team. Most of the senior players have at least one to their name but the leading scorer, in league and cup, remains Mikael Mandron with five and he's long gone.
Tom Nichols (4) and Shaun Williams (3) lead the way in league goals only.
Manager Harris was a prolific striker and was asked if it was key to have a 20-plus man in his squad.
“It can be,” said the Gills boss. “Look at Sam Hoskins at Northampton [with 20], Andy Cook at Bradford [26], but then look at Leyton Orient, their wingers might have double figures but that’s it, the centre-forward (Charlie Kelman) has no more than five.
“Stevenage, Carl Piergianni the centre-half is up near the goalscoring charts for them, almost double figures [with eight]. I am not saying that is how I want the team to be, I like my centre forwards to score goals, I was a bit selfish like that as a player, I expect them to score, especially if you play two centre forwards.
“You want them to score, but it is about winning games, at any level, and we as a group haven’t scored many goals over the course of the season but what I will be interested is that when we get to May 8, how many goals have we scored since January 14 in the second half of the season and where that would put us in the goalscoring charts, that is a telltale sign for where we need improve next year.”
Hawkins looks set to remain upfront for Gills this season but Harris hasn’t ruled out using him as a defender in the future.
He said: “I would play him there 100% because he is a good centre-half. We brought him in during January to play upfront, to be that focal point for us, whether that’s from the start or off the bench, but we were very clear to him when he came in I wanted to recruit him as a centre-forward.
“He is really open minded and really honest and just wants to be on the pitch. If I put him in centre-half he will go and play the best of abilities in that position because he is a cracking lad but ultimately I brought him in to play as a centre-forward, certainly between January to the end of the season.”
And Hawkins said: “For Gills I am mainly focussing on being a centre-forward, in the future I can’t say what might happen.
“Since I became a professional five or six years ago I played there (at centre-back) the odd time, then this last year or so it escalated to more times (at former club Mansfield), but at Gillingham I am stepping away from it and focussing on being centre-forward.
“There is no better feeling than scoring a goal and coming off and seeing headlines about you or in team of the week, that is why it always excites me to play there.”