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Ady Pennock kept his Gills players in the dressing room for an hour after Saturday’s second half collapse.
The Gills conceded three times early in the second half at Oxford, leaving them a point and a place off the bottom of League 1.
With six league games played, the Gills are still looking for their first win.
Under-fire boss Pennock said: “It’s a disappointing day, we’re very disappointed.
“Heads went down (after conceding the first goal) and some people were hiding.
“I had a meeting with the players and said a few things to them and they said a few things. It was very open and hopefully that will help.
“We had a good chat, a good discussion, there were a few raised voices, but we sat and discussed everything. We are looking forward to Tuesday now (at AFC Wimbledon).”
Report: Oxford United 3 Gillingham 0
Gills boss unsure how long he has left in the job
Gillingham had a great early chance to go ahead on Saturday, but Conor Wilkinson headed wide.
Pennock said: “We should have scored in the first three minutes. We are not taking our chances and we are conceding poor goals, especially the first one, it was awful. I was very disappointed.
“Two minutes after kick-off (for the second half) we concede and you think ‘what’s the half-time team-talk been about?’ You tell them and they are up for it, slapping each other on the back and saying ‘come on’. It was an awful (first) goal to concede. It was a basic error.
“Then you are chasing the game. They score three in eight minutes and you just can’t do that.”