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When the old Wembley Stadium closed down, they auctioned off squares of the turf. And I bought one.
You could buy seats, pictures of stars who had performed there which once hung in its corridors and, of course, chunks of the hallowed turf itself.
Anyway, for about £30 (something of a bargain) I got a bit of Wembley grass. It arrived in a pizza-style box. There were stud marks in it. I was impressed. Who knows who had stood on it? A household name? A groundsman? The mind boggled.
But I was an idiot. Because when it arrived I put it safely in my understairs cupboard – and then forgot about it for a week.
By the time I suddenly realised I needed to get it in the ground, it was already looking decidedly peaky.
I took it outside and planted it in the garden. But over the years, I forgot exactly where. So, if you bought a house in Whitstable from me several years ago, you have yourself an unexpected bargain – because somewhere in your lawn is a bit of football history.
At the launch event of this great sell-off – held in May 2000, before games had stopped - I’d been lucky enough to attend a star-studded event at the stadium itself.
A host of the surviving members of the 1966 World Cup winning squad were in attendance, as was the man who uttered those famous ‘they think it’s all over’ words - the commentator Kenneth Wolstenholme.
Then-Chelsea owner, Ken Bates was strutting about, as was the boxer Henry Cooper.
I was working for a magazine in London at the time and my main aim was to try and get a few words with Sir Geoff Hurst – hat-trick hero from that 1966 final, as if you need reminding. I needed to get his comments on England’s 2006 bid to host the World Cup finals which was, at the time, closing in on decision day. Spoiler: The Germans beat us.
I spotted him and moved in. He was pleasant enough but despite being an ambassador for the bid refused point-blank to answer. I tried my best charm tactics and he gave me what, in his mind, was no doubt a playful punch on the arm. It bloody hurt. Our ‘Enry would have been proud of him.
I left without my quotes, but with a story, 24 years later, I share with you, dear reader. Yes - I was punched by Geoff Hurst.
And just while we’re talking football and my brushes with legends of the game, in the mid-1990s I was sent to cover the unveiling of a champagne at a Kent vineyard dedicated to Premier League giants Manchester United.
I think – but can’t swear to it – it was in Lamberhurst. Somewhere west of Maidstone, anyway. And the big-name guest was Alex Ferguson – then manager of the all-conquering Reds.
As we awaited his arrival, a swanky red, low-slung sports car pulled into the car park. Anticipation grew that it was the United boss. Instead, it was celebrity chef – and fan – (the now late) Gary Rhodes. Ostentatious? Maybe.
Then TV presenter Eamonn Holmes turned up. This all sounds rather like a weird dream doesn’t it? But I assure you it did happen.
Anyway, Ferguson appeared and allowed me to grab a few words. He was pleasant and courteous and, slightly disarmed, I rather warmed to him. No mean feat given I’m an Arsenal fan.
I never did get to taste the champagne, mind. But I did get a bruise from Hat-trick Hero Hurst.