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I don’t claim to be a seer or any sort of clairvoyant who can tell you what your future might hold.
Otherwise, I’d be in my speedboat jetting around a sun-kissed island that I’d bought with my lottery payout or, at the very least, collecting a sackful of cash having successfully predicted the winning nag in the 2:15 at Doncaster.
But, you do need to pay attention to my special gifts as I have made a few startlingly accurate predictions in the past and one, in particular, proved to be a belter.
Now, I need to stress at the outset I take absolutely no credit, or even any pleasure, in what I’m about to tell you but, I can place my hand on my heart and assure you it’s the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
Way back in 2005, long before he even thought about running for London Mayor, I sat in a newspaper management meeting in South London and informed all assembled members that one day, Boris Johnson would be Prime Minister of this great country of ours.
Half the people round the board table almost fell off their chairs while the other half, once they’d finished spluttering on their croissants and laughing uproariously, wanted to know exactly what planet I was on and questioned whether I really believed the British electorate could be so stupid as to elect such a buffoon.
Three years later, when he was voted in as the capital’s chief burgher, and I warned them this was just a stepping stone to the much bigger job I had predicted, they were a fraction less chirpy but nonetheless still dismissive of my prophecy.
My conviction, on the other hand, was so solid I marched straight into the local betting shop to back my hunch. Sadly no bookie was prepared to take my money, which was a great pity as this would have made a much better story.
Anyway, my colleagues may have enjoyed the joke back in 2005, but they’d certainly stopped laughing by July 2019.
So, why am I bothering to share this with you now?
Well, I hate to have to tell you this, but one day, and it will take a lot less than 14 years, a man currently sitting on a log and eating beans in the jungle will follow in Boris’ footsteps.
Mark my words, and you heard it here first: Nigel Farage will one day become our Prime Minister. I wonder if I’ll be able to find a bookie who’ll take my bet and what sort of odds I’ll be offered.