Does our respect for older people’s values make us less likely to call out racist and other socially unacceptable behaviour?

I was approached by a representative of Age Concern and asked to take on a few odd jobs for old folks who, sadly for them, aren’t capable of doing any more.

Choosing to ignore the fact I’m painfully close to becoming an old codger myself, not to mention dangerously close to losing a few faculties, I signed up and got started.

To find older people appreciative of someone who turns up when they say they will, is polite, does a decent job and smiles was not surprising, but boy do some of them love to chat.

And, it’s not long before they feel comfortable with saying exactly what’s on their mind.

Not that there’s anything wrong with plain speaking - I’m a big fan of anyone who says what they’re thinking and chooses to get things off their chest.

However, and I’m no retiring wallflower, I have been taken aback not just by the language used but the level of intolerance exhibited. Are older people less flexible about changing their views than younger people and therefore more likely to express socially unacceptable sentiments?

“What I’m starting to question is whether it’s reasonable for me to simply stay detached and nod along politely or whether I should pull them up…”

If I tried to share any of the racist, anti-immigrant, ageist, homophobic, misogynist statements I’ve been exposed to in recent weeks the editor would have a meltdown so I’ll have to leave you to imagine.

But, what I’m starting to question is whether it’s reasonable for me to simply stay detached and nod along politely or whether I should pull them up.

It’s not across the board. I work for one old lady who knits her own sandals and makes tea from plants she finds in hedgerows. She’d be horrified at the very thought of anyone expressing such views.

So, it surely can’t just be down to the fact older people grew up in less egalitarian times?

I read recently scientists believe physical changes to the brain in late adulthood make older adults more prejudiced.

Apparently frontal lobes are the last to develop and the first to atrophy as we age – these lobes do not reduce intelligence but they are responsible for inhibiting inappropriate thoughts.

This might explain why old people struggle to find the right word and also why they start voicing ideas they might previously have suppressed.

There could be several ways to read this – perhaps it’s their true personality coming out now they can no longer suppress their beliefs, i.e. stripping away political correctness, or maybe our inhibitory abilities don’t suppress our personality, but rather help shape it.

If the scientists are right and spouting such questionable views is not their fault and more the result of anatomical change then maybe it’s me who needs to learn to be more tolerant and simply continue nodding politely.

Either way, it explains a lot about my mother-in-law.