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Secret Drinker

Secret Drinker’s reviews Beefeater’s Table Table pub at Margate Road, Herne Bay

By: Secret Drinker whatsoneditor@thekmgroup.co.uk

Published: 02:26, 24 May 2024

Updated: 06:47, 24 May 2024

I’d driven miles to pick up Mrs SD’s latest purchase so before I got back on the dual carriageway at Herne Bay to head home I felt I deserved a pint.

The nearest place was a basically a Beefeater, unsurprisingly opposite a Premier Inn, which calls itself Table Table.

Just in case you’re lost, the biggest sign emblazoned on the restaurant announces the town you’re in

I’m not sure I’ve reviewed a Beefeater previously and I think that’s because whenever I’ve gone into one I’ve immediately felt out of place as I’m not a family looking for a budget meal at a budget price or a travelling salesman seeking a swift breakfast.

Driving round to the car park I was surrounded by plenty of building sites and somewhere at the back of my mind I’m sure I remembered seeing a KentOnline story claiming this pub is set to shut soon.

Parking on a Sunday was straightforward in a monster car park and once through the front door I saw three things – to the left was a lone Premier Inn resident with a dinner fork in one hand and a phone in the other, to the right there was a smattering of family groups with menus in hand and centrally was a large sign asking me to wait to be seated.

Table Table is basically a Beefeater restaurant and, judging by its address, it was built on the site of an old farm
Presumably purpose-built as a Whitbread restaurant, the building doesn’t have a great deal of character

I assumed this probably didn’t apply to someone calling in just to get a pint, so I walked on past the breakfast bar to get to the real bar and was welcomed by a real barmaid.

mpu1

She didn’t seem put out by someone approaching the bar directly and was both friendly and upbeat. She said it had been quiet all day as the sun had been shining and she reckoned there’d also been a food market in the town.

There was Doom Bar on tap but she didn’t feel able to recommend it so I played it with a safe, straight bat and selected a Moretti – she said this was a good choice as most people swerve the Sharp’s real ale.

No surprise - directly opposite the front door of Table Table is the front door of the Premier Inn
The first thing you’ll see once you’re through the front door is the sign asking you to wait to be seated

There was a sort of bar-type area to the left of the front door so I headed there and didn’t struggle to find a seat. What I did struggle to find was a clean table and, in the end, settled on the least sticky one – I would share the number but the brass disc which should display it was missing.

Heart Radio was pumping through the speakers and there was a string of bunting as well as a selection of fairy lights although, like the various screens on the walls, mercifully they were switched off.

The furniture is passable and the floors, which are mainly carpeted, are reasonable, though there are also some boarded floors. It’s obviously a purpose-built building, presumably erected about 20 years ago, but still feels like a campsite clubroom and this feeling is backed up by the children’s Toy Box grabbing machine.

The bar was empty when I walked in but I was soon joined by a friendly, upbeat barmaid who was quick to share a joke
The barmaid couldn’t recommend a pint of Doom Bar, so I opted for a Moretti

By 7pm there were quite a few family groups in for dinner but it had been a quiet day so there were plenty of staff on duty to serve them.

Like so many Wetherspoon pubs, Table Table chooses to send its customers up two flights of stairs to get to the toilets.

The stairs can be found through a glass door on the left-hand side of the pub and you’re greeted by a strong bleach smell as soon as you’re through the door at the bottom step. The gents were reasonably well maintained and fairly clean but the swimming pool smell had disappeared once you were in the toilets themselves.

mpu4

There is a reasonable outside seating area but despite it being a very pleasant evening no-one was choosing to sit outside, perhaps just another sign that 99% of visitors simply want to feed their family on a budget and get it done as quickly as possible.

It was a quiet Sunday evening as the sun had been shining and, as the barmaid said: “Would you want to be in here for a Sunday roast?”
The toilets were reasonably fresh and clean, with a machine (perhaps with Premier Inn guests in mind) on the wall

As I left there were several workers in white vans pulling into the car park with real purpose and heading for the Premier Inn – they might well have had a visit to Table Table planned later before turning in ahead of a busy week.

On my way home, I found myself pondering if Table Table Herne Bay is due to close whether it will be missed?

Speaking entirely personally, particularly following this visit, I have to say no. But, I’m not working away from home and I don’t have a young family to feed these days, so perhaps I’m not the best person to ask.

There was bottle of cleaning fluid and a cloth by the till but it wasn’t being used on the tables in the bar
The weather was warm but everyone was choosing to dine inside and, apart from me, on-one else was just in for a pint
The massive car park is surrounded, on several sides, by building sites

TABLE TABLE, BLACKSOLE FARM, MARGATE ROAD, HERNE BAY CT6 6LA

Decor: It’s very much as I expected, perhaps with the exception of the sticky tables, and the furnishings and carpets were very average. There wasn’t much character and it felt a little bit like a campsite clubroom. **

Drink: Doom Bar was the only ale on tap so I went for a lager. My Moretti was well served and was as expected. **

Price: I decided not to opt for a Doom Bar, but if I had it would have set me back £4.60. My pint of Moretti was more than a pound dearer at £5.70 but I suspect that fairly average these days. ***

Staff: There was no-one behind the bar at first but a barmaid arrived within a couple of minutes and was friendly and efficient. I didn’t get an opportunity to speak to any other staff. ***

Catch up on all Secret Drinker's Kent pub reviews here

Beyond the Toy Box grabbing machine and baby chairs stacked against the wall there were several family groups in for their evening meal
Like so many Wetherspoon pubs, this Whitbread house chooses to send it visitors up several flights of stairs to get to the toilets
This is the view of the outdoor seating area from the window at the front of the bar

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