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We all know the start to the old joke: “What’s brown and sticky?”
Well, in the Cherry Tree in Canterbury, the punchline is just about everything – the floor, the tables, the walls, the bar and, by the time you leave, you as well.
A cocktail for just £4.50 might sound too good to be true, and when you hear it’s called a ‘Pig F*****’ you may well be questioning your drink selection.
By the time the plastic cup of sweet-tasting, almost fluorescent pink, stickiness has been put in your hand you’ll definitely be doubting yourself – and that’s before you’ve tasted it!
The date on the outside of this ancient back street tavern might read 1372, and there is an odd dark beam visible inside as well, but most of the interior has, I would respectfully suggest, been savaged over the years. You’ll now find a long, modern bar, a tacky brick arch, sticky stripped walls and even stickier boards on the floor.
Behind the bar I counted 19 taps and two further old ale pulls, though these looked as if they’d been redundant for a long time. Unfortunately, of the 19, the four most interesting taps all had plastic cups balanced on them, presumably indicating they were off. The barmaid confirmed Bloody ’Ell, Lost Lager, Curious Pilsner and Budvar were indeed all unavailable.
Having previously sampled the plastic pink stuff we both, very sensibly, rejected even the idea of ordering PFs and, from the remaining choices, I selected a Timothy Taylor’s Hopical Storm and my Apprentice the ubiquitous Beavertown Neck Oil.
Surprisingly, for a weekend evening at the start of term, it wasn’t wall-to-wall with students, though there were a few stragglers playing cards and ordering up PFs (which are pre-produced in sets of eight behind the bar for speed of delivery).
I’m sure these pink abominations, with a ‘secret’ recipe and tasting as if they’re devoid of alcohol, have been around a few years, but they certainly weren’t on offer when I first visited here as a student. Back then the place was a fairly equal mix of students and squaddies, which, sadly, all too often proved to be a volatile mix.
The gents has definitely been done up over the years but it is still competing to be the narrowest toilet in the city and two burly fellows will struggle to find a passing place. Fortunately, the sink has been kept small but unfortunately there can’t have been enough room left for any soap.
The toilets have been done up but there are tell-tale signs elsewhere that the Cherry Tree is still in the process of being improved – some items are wrapped in masking tape and several areas have gaps and holes that need filling.
The plaster has been knocked off a few walls and others have been rough plastered, there is wood panelling to a height of about three feet around most of the place and this has been painted in the favoured green pub colour.
There is no dartboard and no pool table but there were a couple of trendy wire lamps and a pack of cards on one windowsill. There was most definitely a modern jukebox which, when it played As Good As I Once Was by Rebel Pride, the Apprentice informed me it was country rock. When it then played Devil’s Toy by The Almighty he espoused his theory that jukeboxes can be set to play absolute garbage in the hope you’ll pump money in just to end the dreadful music.
There are no barstools in front of the bar but there are a few at the side, which are favoured by the regulars who wish to chat constantly to the bar staff.
It’s a fairly small place, but there is an area at the front of the pub in the cobbled, traffic-free lane set aside with picnic tables.
We decided to stay for a second and the Staropramen I selected, for £5.25, was a decent pint but the Apprentice gamely chose a Thatchers Cloudy Lemon for a fiver. Neither of us would normally leave a drink, but it wasn’t cloudy, didn’t taste of lemon and was so sweet it made your teeth scream louder than the jukebox – he won’t make this mistake again.
On the one hand, you could argue it’s good to see, in a city which now favours trendy, totally-overpriced pubs which are geared entirely to tourists, or visitors at least, there is still room for a grungy, largely student-based, sticky back street bar.
On the other hand, if you’re not quite as keen on the look and aroma generated by the sort of place that encourages cheap shots and scruffily dressed younger folk, then you’ll be better off avoiding the stickiness at the Cherry Tree.
THE CHERRY TREE, 10 WHITE HORSE LANE, CANTERBURY CT1 2RU
Décor: From the outside this listed tavern, dating back to 1372, is impressive and looks very inviting. Inside it has been adapted over the years to ensure it is now an attractive venue for local students. **
Drink: There were a number of interesting lagers available and also several ciders. Sadly a few were unavailable and there was no ale on tap. If you’re seeking shots and lower-end cocktails you’re in luck. ***
Price: A cocktail for £4.50 can’t be bad can it? And, relatively speaking, £5.50 for a Neck Oil isn’t that expensive these days. The Hopical was the same price as Neck Oil and Staropramen was £5.25. Shots are £3 each. ****
Staff: It wasn’t too busy so there was plenty of time for the bar staff to chat to their mates. I didn’t see any table wiping going on or empty glasses being cleared but they were efficient at serving. **
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