Secret Drinker reviews the Blue Anchor pub in St Mary’s Platt, near Borough Green

whatsoneditor@thekmgroup.co.uk

Published: 06:00, 10 September 2021 | Updated: 08:06, 16 September 2021

Have you noticed how many roads in Kent are currently closed for roadworks with diversions leading everyone through the back of beyond?

I was still cursing the latest one when it led me to the door of the Blue Anchor in a little place called St Mary’s Platt – for once it seemed I’d been diverted in a decent direction.

The first sign you’ll see on entering the Blue Anchor at St Mary’s Platt is a warning about slippery conditions – many, many more sign are waiting for you

It was only later that I realised we made our entrance round the back, there’s a whole different side to this pub which I didn’t see until I popped out front

There was plenty of advice and information available on the pub's chalkboards, even before you get through the door. I might consider the fancy dress bingo night, but I’m not sure the singles event advertised on the other side would be such a good idea.

However, the details outside are nothing compared to the assault on your senses once you’re across the threshold.

Remember how pubs in the 80s used to be jam-packed with a whole mass of little gems, along with even more tat and a few bits and bobs to boot. Well, this one obviously didn’t get the memo and has gone on collecting non-stop for the last 30 years.

It’s a Greene King house and, encouraged by the barmaid, I chose to try the 4.5% pale ale Ice Breaker. It’s very refreshing, with an absolute stack of fruity flavours, and is an ale I’d definitely return to – even Mrs SD, who insisted grapefruit was the dominant flavour, reckons she might choose it ahead of a white wine next time.

The bar is decorated with fairy lights in the colour of the pub’s name – beyond the bar is the entrance to the dining room

This photo is a little dark, due to the brightness of the light, but believe me this wall, like many of the others, is jam packed with a multitude of knick-knacks

As it happened there wasn’t any Sauvignon Blanc available, so she’d already been far more adaptable than usual by switching to a Pinot Grigio.

Musically the pub is as traditional as its decorations and, after the long version of Meatloaf’s biggest hit, we were treated to a number from Neil Diamond and a tune from The Boss.

There were a few folk eating and the menu looked pretty varied.

I’d already eaten but Mrs SD had missed her tea so decided to order a fish finger sandwich, for the princely sum of £5.95, which came with skinny fries and salad. This was declared very tasty and exactly what she needed – it was as traditional as everything else in the place and an absolute winner.

I said I should take a picture first, but when Mrs SD’s fish finger sandwich arrived she’d taken a bite in no time. Traditional, like the rest of the pub, but great value.

More ‘rare artefacts’ can be found above the book shelves

After one bite of her butty we were joined by Thistle, the working spaniel, who was skating across the wooden floor trying to get a grip with his long claws – so dogs are clearly welcome too.

Once Thistle had departed it was just us, barmaids Michelle and Gina and a couple of guys sat on stools at the bar left in the pub.

There is a dartboard, but no other irritations like fruit machines, jukeboxes or quiz machines to distract from the drinking and the craic, but one regular seemed a tad merry and did repeat himself a few times.

Thistle, the working spaniel, wouldn’t stand still long enough for me to take his picture – then, just when I got him into focus, someone dropped a crisp at the bar!

Even before you get through the door you are given a full rundown on all the various snacks available at the bar – this is a pub with a penchant for a chalkboard

Wisely he decided the pint he was on should be his last and headed into the night to join his wife, who’d arrived to pick him up and had been waiting in the car for 10 minutes or so.

Once our friendly local had departed and we were left alone Michelle and Gina started blowing up balloons for an impromptu party the following day and between all the huffing and puffing the chat flowed again.

They shared a number of fascinating anecdotes about the pub and its history but by far the most astonishing fact they imparted was that their most committed regular had been in since 2pm and in eight hours had managed to sink 13 pints of Guinness.

Sign of the times – it looks as if this pub sign has been installed, or at least replaced, fairly recently

This is itself remarkable, but when they said he does exactly the self-same thing every single day and occasionally even manages a pint or two more, I was briefly lost for words.

Speechless I headed to the gents, which I can report were well maintained, fresh and sweet smelling. But if you think a visit to the facilities might give you a break from the chalkboard onslaught then you’re very much mistaken.

Mrs SD’s trip to the ladies revealed those were equally well kept, but without all the written material next door.

Like the rest of the pub, the walls of the gents are filled with plenty of chalkboards displaying witticisms, dodgy jokes and general advice for the unwary

If you think you can escape the amusing chalkboards inside the cubicle you’d be mistaken

It’s refreshing to find such a traditional pub hidden away in this village backwater and judging by the look of the place nothing here is going to change anytime soon.

The same goes for the select group of regulars who line the bar on their stools – their loyalty is testament to the high regard in which they hold the place.

We thoroughly enjoyed our visit and if the price of the pale ale didn’t quite render me speechless, the capacity of the Blue Anchor’s most committed regular to sink Guinness certainly did.

The pub’s address is Grange Road and this is the view from there

Blue Anchor, Grange Road, St Mary’s Platt, near Borough Green TN15 8ND

Decor: A proper pub packed to the gunnels with a huge range of memorabilia and a vast array of historical knick-knacks – plus more humorous sayings and anecdotes than I have ever seen. *****

Drink: With the exception of her usual tipple, there was a good selection of drinks available and the unfiltered pale ale was excellent, although the price was too steep to justify a second. ****

When we arrived there were five guys all sitting on stools at the bar and it was tricky to get close enough to be served

Food: There was plenty of choice on the menu and, although she chose to play it pretty safe, Mrs SD’s fish finger sandwich, on white bread, was fresh and tasty. ***

Price: A large Pinot Grigio was a reasonable £6.40 and a fish finger sandwich under six quid, but the Ice Breaker was a good deal more expensive at £5.95 a pint, a Moretti will set you back a fiver. **

Staff: Absolute salt of the earth, attentive and helpful, both barmaids were welcoming, chatty and a joy to spend time with. *****