I’d been dropped off on Chatham ring road and was absolutely starving, but had an hour to kill so banked on finding a bite in a nearby boozer.

Full of hope I ignored the outdoor, paved area and a few lively, shirtless youths at the front of the White Lion on the high street and hopped through the open door.

The barman with a beard, as is the trend, poured me a Fosters of the ale world ie. a Doom Bar, but as it was the first one out of the pump on a hot day it frothed up alarmingly. I joked it was the first pint he’d ever pulled but he just laughed and said it was his third.

In fact, this was true as apparently he doesn’t work here and was just covering for the landlady, Krista.

Whilst he was still explaining the pub has never served food a woman came and sat on the stool alongside me and unpacked two lunches. The pretend barman immediately joined her and the two began munching in unison - this I realised was Krista.

I decided if you can’t beat them… and, despite being advised about three nearby chicken shops, popped over the road to the Taze Restaurant to order my lunch.

Beardy was back behind the bar again when I returned and I decided my Greek salad and chicken shish would go better with lager.

I selected Staropramen, although the barman calls it ‘strap on’ as he struggles to pronounce his Rs and it’s next to the John Smiths (known as ‘Johnnie’) at the pumps.

But bizarre lager naming conventions paled into insignificance as one young woman came in just a few minutes past midday to order a fish bowl.

Having paid £9.95 for the privilege and carefully carried this large orange monstrosity out front for some reason neither she, nor her mate, touched a drop.

My food arrived so I unpacked it on the bar, as is the custom, while Krista and her helper, who’d finished eating and had taken an extended fag break, decided to shoot some pool.

As well as the pool table there’s a space which looks as if it once contained a dartboard, four large TV screens and a large electronic fruit machine. There is a mixture of tartans used across the furniture and carpets and an incredibly high ceiling, with at least nine CCTV cameras in just the bar.

There’s even a CCTV camera in the gents, although it doesn’t show on the screen behind the bar - although they could do with taking a look at it as there’s a serious problem with the urinals. Over the one on the right there’s a sign which reads ‘not in use’, whether this is a mistake or a joke I’m not sure but the left one leaks like a sieve and the whole place stinks to high heaven as a result.

There is a tatty area out back, with another screen, stacked chairs and cardboard packaging, which I visited to get some fresh air before returning to the bar.

Perhaps the atrocious smell had left me looking pale as Krista asked: “You alright babe?”

We were briefly joined by the most tattooed person I’ve ever seen and next in was a topless punter carrying a blood-soaked shirt who apologised for his state of dress but said he had been ‘jumped’ after leaving the pub the night before. The result was a gaping gash on the back of his head which Krista reckoned needed stitching but he said he’d survive.

She disappeared upstairs to wash his bloodied shirt and he took a seat out front to share his story with anyone who’d listen and show them his caved in head.

Back inside there were two locals, looking like dodgy twins, as each was wearing a medical boot on a different leg. Clearly this is a boozer where accidents can happen.

The music was played from, and selected, behind the bar and was pumped out at a decent level while I was in.

Although his sister does work here, the barman was, by his own admission, not really supposed to be working but was happy filling in and did a decent enough job.

I was starving when I arrived and although the White Lion doesn’t serve food I managed to get a tasty lunch from the restaurant across the street and Krista says they’re great neighbours.

If it ever kicks off in the pub the waiters are quick to help her out and if the Taze runs out of a particular drink she lets them have an extra bottle.

If ever there was a pub which fits perfectly into its community and surroundings this is it, the White Lion is totally at home on the corner of Chatham High Street.

The White Lion, 325 High Street, Chatham ME4 4BN

Decor: Fairly typical of the Craft Union model, a little tatty round the edges but comfortable enough. The cardboard out back needs to be ditched and that pongy, leaking urinal needs fixing sharpish. **

Drink: There was a reasonable level of choice and although Doom Bar isn’t everyone’s favourite it was a decent example. The Staropramen was a decent lunchtime lager, though I’d avoid a colourful fishbowl at any price. **

Price: The Doom Bar was just £2.10, with a pint of Kronenbourg £3.55 and ‘premium’ (according to the barman) lager Staropramen cost £4.05. Taze’s Greek salad will cost you £6.90 and a chicken shish £8.50. ***

Food: The White Lion is strictly snacks only (so no score on the door) but if I was here to rate the Taze Restaurant I’d award it four stars – a very decent lunch.

Staff: He was only helping out behind the bar, but Krista’s upbeat and willing assistant was pleasant and cheery. The landlady herself, when not lunching, playing pool or having a fag, was efficient and equally friendly. ***

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