Soulless in the extreme, I didn’t realise the full ramifications of my poor decision until it was too late and I’d already dashed through the door of The Billet to escape the rain.

Further down London Road in Sittingbourne there is another pub which, even from a passing glance through the window as I passed, looked far more warm and inviting.

A first look at The Billet would convince you it’s a sports bar, but in reality it serves two roles – the front end is for builders, scaffolders and other tradesmen who’ve been rained off early and the back for school kids wanting their tea.

For some reason the vast majority of tables at this Greene King pub had reserved signs on them, despite the fact no-one seemed to have any intention of using them. Having bought a pint I perched on a stool at one such reserved spot but no-one made any effort to sit down at it or any of the other five or six reserved tables the whole time I was in.

For every reserved table there was a screen showing an incredibly boring, silent snooker match which no-one had even the slightest interest in.

The snooker was eventually replaced by a show called Flog It! which looked equally tedious and was equally ignored by all.

There was no bitter available and I’d tried the draught IPA before so I chose a pint of Madri for almost a fiver and took a look around.

A mural on one wall proudly describes this place as ‘The home of sport’ and lists several popular ones, though I noted neither snooker, or Flog It, were mentioned.

There is a pool table, a dartboard and several machines but, like the reserved tables, not a soul went near them during my visit.

The construction guys who, due to the weather, were well established by late afternoon stuck resolutely to their teams and ploughed on through pints of lager without any interest in their surroundings.

The kids in school uniform made similar short work of burgers and chips before moving on to chocolate pudding.

The carpets, other furnishings and general decoration are in pretty good nick and feel fairly standard for a Greene King establishment.

However, when I visited the gents I was seriously surprised by the state of the toilets.

Okay, the smell of urine was fairly overpowering and the floor around the urinals soaking wet, but it was the state of the ceiling which really shocked me – this is fungal growth which needs some serious attention.

The check sheet was at least a week out of date so maybe these toilets hadn’t seen a mop or bleach for a while but that level of mould must have been gathering pace for a considerable length of time.

I’d finally found an unreserved seat near to the toilets but every time the door opened I was hit by a waft of stale urine so decided to re-join the builders at the front.

The young fellow behind the bar was doing his best to lift spirits and said to me: “Do you want another one poured up?”

I wasn’t sure I did and certainly didn’t want a £4 Fosters that many were ordering, but in the end decided to give the Greene King IPA another chance. At £3.41 it was cheap enough and, to be fair, was slightly more drinkable than I remembered.

Flog It was replaced by a meaningless cricket match on all screens but the latest entrant in the hi-vis fashion contest was providing more entertainment as he removed a top orange layer to reveal an even brighter yellow under layer.

The waitress who had been fairly busy the whole time, delivered a few more after school meals before taking a seat with a table of locals to share the trials and tribulations of her day.

It wasn’t the weather to be outside but thanks to a view created by a collapsed fence panel I did spot a reasonable sized garden. However, the litter at the far side of the car park could do with tackling almost as much as the mould in the toilets.

The last sign I saw on the pub wall as I left declared it was a ‘Game of 2 Halves’ and, if I’d experienced the first half, this place needs the hair drier treatment during the break so it can make improvements before the second half.

The Billet, 206 London Road, Sittingbourne ME10 1QA

Decor: Most of the place was 100% Greene King, with reasonable chairs and tables, standard carpet and clean enough surfaces but the mould in the toilet was on a different level. ***

Drink: There was no bitter available on tap, the lager was fine and the IPA wasn’t as bad as I remember it, but I wouldn’t describe it as a great pint either. **

Price: The Madri was £4.90 and the Fosters, as you’d expect, cheaper at £4. A pint of 3.6% IPA was £3.41. ***

Staff: The diminutive barman did his best to lift the atmosphere but it was always going to be a challenge. The waitress was a little bit Acorn Antiques but found time between delivering meals to chat to the locals. ***

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